Always take the lead in your relationship, but isn't that what you really want? In this article we find out how to learn how to put an end to this situation.
Last update: 07 March, 2022
Taking initiative in relationships isn't wrong. However, if you are not comfortable doing this, you need to review the situation, because taking full responsibility for one relationship prevents the other from playing the part of him.
It may also happen that those who do not take the initiative are comfortable in a passive role or that perhaps their priorities are different. However, the important thing is to analyze how such a dynamic makes us feel.
This will make it easier to identify who we have a stronger bond with and feel more comfortable with with whom we have more difficulty when we take the initiative. Let's explore the topic in this article.
Taking initiative in relationships: the strength of habit
The force of habit is very powerful, even Darwin said so. It makes us settle into a situation until we get tired and explode.
This it can trigger rejection and bewilderment responses, since the person who does not "explode" is usually the one who never takes the initiative in the relationship. However, you can take action to fix this problem.
- Communication always with respect and clarity. We need to let the other know what we think about the situation and that we want change.
- Allow the other person to express themselves: knowing what the other thinks and feels is also important. Furthermore, this will allow for an exchange of views which can lead us to the next point.
- Evaluate the various options: we need to find an option that suits our case. So we can take some time to think about some alternatives or talk and evaluate together the possible options we have available.
The important thing is not to make a radical change, but to start with small changes. For example, the person who never takes the initiative may start proposing a weekend program once a month.
And so in a progressive way. We will have to check if he is doing his part and if he carries out the commitment made.
Change and frustration
If the other person continues to be passive, it may simply be their way of being. That is why, however much he can promise that he will change and that "yes, next time I will take the initiative or be more active", that will not happen.
In these cases, it is important to understand that the person is not as we would like and that even if he tries to please us by saying he will do his best to change, it won't be that easy.
An article published in the Revista de Ciencia Sociales explains this situation very well, which is very common in couple relationships. If taking the initiative is so important to us, and this situation leads us to get angry or constantly berate our partner for her passivity, it is essential to reflect on the relationship and values ​​that are important to us.
The call for interest
Another important aspect that we must not overlook and on which we must reflect is why we maintain a relationship in which the other does not like to take the initiative. For example, even though we proposed to meet four times, the fifth was that person. Why did this happen?
In the event that this contact, more often than not, has to do, for example, with going to the university to get a book, going to the bank or going to a certain place where you don't want to go alone we have to ask ourselves if that call or that message isn't just out of simple interest.
Can't we invite someone to have a coffee, go to the cinema or take a walk to talk? Maybe it's time to review our relationships. Many times we take the initiative only in certain situations, but not in others.
Some people, however, do not take the initiative in any area of ​​their life. If this makes you frustrated, tired or uncomfortable, please reflect. Also, do not hesitate to contact a professional who will provide you with the right tools to better manage this situation.
