Last update: February 21, 2015
Among the most important objectives of human beings, regardless of their culture or social and economic status, is the happiness. However, it is a concept which means different things to different people, and which can also change over time and depending on the circumstances of life.
Some people think that happiness resides in spiritual values, others in professional successes, and for many others, the key to achieving it is a stable romantic relationship. However, one constant of this research is that when we reach one of the objectives that at first seemed essential to us, in the meantime we have created others and, at that point, these new needs seem to us an indispensable condition for being happy. But does this mean that happiness doesn't exist?
Happy moments, happy lives
Happiness, far from being a goal to be reached, is more like one moments collection that at the end of the day make us feel satisfied. However, some daily practices prevent us from fully enjoying these small "units of happiness"; for example, enduring the pain, loss, and frustration of the past.
That's right: constantly remembering what made us miserable yesterday will make us miserable today too. And this is unlikely to make us achieve happiness. Letting go of those experiences is more difficult than you think, because sometimes we disguise them as traditions, we embellish them with a veil of honor or with other emotions that define us. However, we must realize that if they harm us, it means that it is not worth continuing to relive them.
Another habit that prevents you from seeing happiness is the complaining constantly how bad things are and how horrible our situation is. For example, we wake up in the morning thinking that all day we will be doing a job that makes us feel frustrated and makes us feel bad; all along the way we keep telling ourselves that with another job we would be much happier… So we feel confused and angry, and in the end all this does nothing but cause us more harm.
If instead, accept the fact that we are in the place where our decisions have led us and that, therefore, it cannot be that bad, we will stop experiencing it as a burden and begin to free ourselves from this burden. It may seem strange, but once we accept things, they will start to change.
We must be grateful
Gratitude is a habit that can be cultivated. Giving thanks for what we have and what makes us happy completely changes our perspective, because for a moment we stop seeing what we don't have. If we have enough time to dedicate to wishing for what would make our life better, it means that our lives are not so full and saturated that we cannot reflect. We are not yet so tired that we cannot imagine that we can be or have something else.
There is at least one aspect in all of our lives that works “almost perfectly”. And, precisely for this reason, it is the one to which we pay less attention. We start recognizing it and giving thanks for what we have, and the rest will get better too. Eventually we will feel happy and we will begin to head for the place we deserve or even to realize that our ideal place is exactly where we are now.
Image courtesy of Ben Raynal
