Sooner or later everyone in our life has experienced the feeling of having done something wrong. It's actually quite a common sentiment, especially for those with a black and white view of life: either it works or it doesn't, there's no middle ground.
The truth is that we all make mistakes, sometimes we have not been able to diet, we have not gotten the job of our dreams, we have set a goal but we have not been able to complete the tasks and the project remains unfinished, we have signed up for a yoga class, but we dropped out after the third session ...
The feeling of failure can be activated by anything. And it is painful, because there is no escape, it is as if a blanket of gray fog rises above us to demotivate us, causing us to enter a catatonic state.
The worst part is that when we make mistakes we end up questioning our worth. We never think that we are wrong only in one sphere of our life, but we generalize by transferring the failure to our personality, coming to consider ourselves useless, without willpower, without the necessary skills to be successful in life.
Obviously, this is an overreaction, but in those moments when we fall prey to feelings of frustration, we fail to understand that we are overreacting.
What can you do?
- Assume that everyone is wrong. We are not the only ones to have failed, it has happened to everyone. In fact, the most important inventors of all time have had to fail many times before reaching their goal. Mistakes and failures are part of growth and we all have to experience them. No one can say that everything worked out for him on the first try, and if he says so, he is lying.
- Distance yourself from the problem. If you are overly involved on an emotional level, you are unable to evaluate the causes of failure in an objective way. Therefore, all you will do is fall into a spiral of repetitive and recriminatory thoughts. Engage in activities you enjoy, create new projects, take a break. When you return to the project and see it with new eyes, you realize that the first reaction was exaggerated.
- Downsizing the failure. What can be learned from this mistake? What did you do wrong, where did you go wrong? This way you will be ready to try again and next time it will be better. Remember that you can turn a mistake into a success if you can learn from mistakes.
- Change method. We often fail in something because we have approached it from a wrong point of view or simply from a point of view that does not suit our abilities, goals or ways of being. Ask yourself how you can achieve this while remaining yourself, respecting your abilities and resources.
- Take the first step. Often, after the first failure, people abandon the whole project. This happens because they are convinced that it is not within their reach and end up closing it in a drawer limiting their dreams. Therefore, once you know what you did wrong and redefined the method, do not become paralyzed, take courage and take the first step, again.
