A collection of funny phrases about work, colleagues and your boss. They will help you ease your workdays a little and have fun with your friends.
Funny phrases about work, colleagues and the boss
Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so close to Monday?
In just 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years I will finish working.
When my boss asked me who was the fool between him and me, I told him that everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I only love my job when I'm on vacation.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter.
My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I buy.
Can we start the weekend again? I was not ready.
My mobile works, I keep pressing the Home button but when I look around I am still at work.
It's funny how no one realizes all the good things you do until you stop doing them.
If A happened in life, then A equals X + Y + Z. Work is X; fun is Y; and Z keeps his mouth shut.
I desperately need a 6 month vacation...twice a year.
In my house I am the boss, my wife is the only one who makes the decisions.
The best part of going to work is coming home at the end of the day.
Every weekend I do what I like the most: absolutely nothing!
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
When you wake up at 6 am, close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45 am. When you're at work and it's 2:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
Funny phrases at work: part two.
I don't work weekends or any other days that end in "I".
My idea of ​​housework is to sweep the room with my eyes.
My boss is like a child, he yells and wakes me up every half hour.
Nothing ruins your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and half of Fridays.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing others that your idea is better than theirs.
Interviewer: "So tell me a little about yourself." Me: "I'd rather not... I want to have this job."
You know that moment when you wake up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to go to work? Neither do I!
Maybe if we all stay very still, he won't be able to see us on Monday.
Retirement is great, you become your own boss and can order yourself to do nothing all day.
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
New Year's resolutions you can really stick to! Skip several lessons in school. Getting sick several times at work. Shop more often. Eat more unhealthy foods like French fries and hamburgers. Drink more soft drinks instead of squeezing fresh fruit. Exercise less and watch more television.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now shut up! They are about to announce the lottery numbers. - The Simpsons
When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years... Dude, I'm just trying to get to Friday.
Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at your life.
Do not worry, come better days. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a workday by seven to ten hours.
If I had to identify in one word why the human race has not and never will reach its full potential, that word would be "reunions."
My keyboard must be broken, I keep pressing the Esc key, but I'm still working hard.
I'm not a boss, I just know exactly what you need to do.
Just once I'd like to wake up, read the news and watch "Monday was cancelled", and then go back to sleep.
I am so tired that even my tiredness is tired.
Funny phrases about work: part three.
He is so lazy that if there was work to do in bed, he would prefer to sleep on the floor.
Sorry I'm late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
I always give 100% to work! 12% on Mondays, 23% on Tuesdays, 40% on Wednesdays, 20% on Thursdays, and 5% on Fridays. Welcome back weekend.
I've always wanted to turn around in a swivel chair and say, "I've been waiting for you."
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to make himself known, so he wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
"Tell me, what is your dream job?" - "In my dreams I don't work."
Interviewer: "Would you say you are independent?"
Me: *looks at mom*, *mom nods*
Me: "I would say yes, yes."
I haven't gone to bed yet and I can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.
I went to work this morning and my boss said "good morning" so I went home and had a great day!
All the annoying people positions in my life have been filled. Candidates do not have to apply, thank you.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity, and dreams.
Today is one of those days when even my coffee needs a coffee.
If lying were a job, some people would be billionaires.
Witty phrases at work: part four.
Hard work has never killed anyone, but why take the risk?
On Mercury a day lasts 1.408 hours. Just like every Monday he does on Earth.
Working again? Really? Didn't I already do it yesterday?
It's finally Friday and I can go out. I'm going to take out the trash, I'll be right back.
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend he runs twice as fast as normal.
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean, how do you get there? Depressed.
I thought you wanted a career. I discovered that all I wanted was a salary.
Look, before I had coffee, I didn't even know how great today was going to be.
I could get a job cleaning mirrors. It's definitely a job I see myself doing.
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in bed I can hardly fall asleep.
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.
Conclusions
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