To improve self-esteem you need to work on some key aspects of your character. Even a simple poem may be enough to discover them.
"You spend 24 hours a day with yourself: try to enjoy the company."
D. Von Furstenberg.
Am I wrong or the latest GetPersonalGrowth articles have been rather… "pregnant": among the challenging ones challenges 90-90-1, the diamond models for come up with a job from scratch and anti strategies mental saws, at least you should take at least 3-4 months of vacation to put everything into practice ;-)
For this reason, today I decided to publish a lighter post, but which I hope will help you reflect. No challenges to face, goals to pursue or results to achieve. This week I would like you to carve out 5 minutes for you to read a simple poem: a poem that speaks of authenticity, self-respect and maturity, but above all a poem that can help you understand the right direction to take to improve self-esteem and self-confidence. Read it calmly, focus on the points that strike you most and, if you wish, share your thoughts in the comments of this article.
When I really started loving myself
The poem I decided to share with you today has often been (wrongly) attributed to Charlie Chaplin, one of the greatest actors in cinematic history. The text was actually written by Kim McMillan and for years it was spread thanks to word of mouth, only to be included in a booklet entitled "When I Loved Myself Enough". Mind you, poetry, from a literary point of view, is rather childish, yet it has the advantage of highlighting almost all the ingredients necessary to strengthen and improve self-esteem. But we will have the opportunity to talk about this in the final part of the post. Good poetry for the moment.
When I really started loving myself,
I realized that the pain and emotional suffering
they served to remind me that I was living at odds with my values.
Today I know this is called authenticity.
When I really started loving myself,
I realized how offensive it was to want to impose my wishes on someone else,
even knowing that the times were not ripe and the person was not ready,
even if that person was me.
Today I know what this is called respect.
When I really started loving myself,
I stopped wanting a different life
and I realized that the challenges I was facing were an invitation to improve myself.
Today I know this is called maturity.
When I really started loving myself,
I understood that in all circumstances I was in the right place and at the right time
and that everything that happened to me had a precise meaning.
Since then I have learned to be peaceful.
Today I know this is called self-confidence.
When I really started loving myself,
I never gave up on my free time
and I stopped fantasizing too much about great future projects.
Today I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
what excites me and makes me happy, and I do it my way, respecting my times.
Today I know this is called simplicity.
When I really started loving myself,
I got rid of everything that put my health at risk: food, people, objects, situations
and anything that dragged me down and away from myself.
At first I called it "healthy selfishness", but
today I know what this is called self-love.
When I really started loving myself,
I stopped wanting to always be right.
And in doing so I made fewer mistakes.
Today I know this is called humility.
When I really started loving myself,
I refused to continue living in the past
or worry about the future.
Today I learned to live in the present moment, the only moment that really matters.
Today I know what this is called welfare.
When I really started loving myself,
I realized that my thinking can
make me miserable and sick.
But when I learned to make it dialogue with my heart,
the intellect has become my best ally.
Today I know this is called wisdom.
We need not fear contrasts, conflicts and
the problems we have with ourselves and with others
because even the stars, at times, collide with each other giving rise to new worlds.
Today I know this is called "vita".
I hope you enjoyed this poem, if you are good with English I also found a very nice video with the original language version of the text.
link al video.
Before I say goodbye, I'd like to leave you with 5 short thoughts inspired by this poem to help you start the GetPersonalGrowth week.
5 keywords to improve self-esteem
Between ourselves I disagree with everything McMillan wrote, but there is no doubt that many passages of this poem are the essential ingredients that must be internalized by anyone who wants to improve self-esteem and confidence in their abilities. It is therefore no coincidence that in this article I found some of those keywords around which I built my (per) digital course APP - Self-esteem step by step.
- Authenticity. The Principle of Authenticity is one of the pillars of my conception of self-esteem. The term "authentic" derives from the Greek autentikòs and shares the same root as the word "author". Respecting the principle of authenticity means to stop playing the role of extras, to finally become authors of our life. Does this sentence seem a bit smoky to you? I'll put it very clear to you: to be authors of your own life means to stop taking on these 5 typical attitudes of the whiner.
- Maturity. The passage in the poem which speaks of maturity can easily be misinterpreted. On the one hand the author suggests that we do not want a different life, but on the other hand he invites us to improve ourselves. An apparent contradiction. In reality, what is really contradictory is our habitual behavior: we complain all the time and want a different life, but we do nothing concrete to change. Learn to reverse this mental trap: start by accepting your current condition, do it with raw realism, and then identify the smallest action you can take today to improve yourself, to take a new path.
"Only after accepting our limits are we able to overcome them."
B. Francis.
- Self love. In the second step-by-step self-esteem module there is a passage in which I underline that "to be able to give unconditionally to others, we must first invest in ourselves". Be wary of false altruism, it is often nothing more than a spasmodic search for the approval of others, a clear sign of low self-esteem. If you want to strengthen your self-confidence you have to learn to do without the "slapping on the back" and focus only on what you think is right for your life and that does not harm others; then if someone turns up their noses at your choices, you go on like a train.
- Humility. In the common imagination, those who have a lot of self-esteem, the classic braggart, are anything but humble. Any admission of guilt is seen as an unacceptable weakness. But isn't this a clear demonstration of low self-esteem? What self-esteem can an individual have who sees himself as threatened if his opinion is questioned? True humility, which we must not confuse with submission, is one of the most concrete demonstrations of confidence in one's intrinsic worth.
- Wellness. Do you remember when I told you about the loving? If you allow your past (regrets) or future (worries) to affect your life and make decisions for you, what do you think is the effect on your self-esteem? Do you really believe that looking back on past mistakes makes you more self-confident? Do you really believe that living in the constant expectation of catastrophic events helps you to have faith in your abilities? Living in the present moment takes constant practice, but the benefits you can derive from it go far beyond just improving your self-esteem.
