Sometimes we linger waiting for things to happen the way we want, to treat us as we deserve. We forget that reality deviates from our expectations, that it does not take into account our desires. Rather than expecting miracles to happen on their own, we need to nurture our intentions and work on them.
Last update: 25 March, 2021
We are experts in creating expectations, in architecting fictitious realities that, most of the time, we end up believing. Who has never fantasized about the future? Thinking in perspective is necessary, but it must be done correctly to nurture intentions, not expectations.
Let's not forget that it is much easier to create probabilities, to make castles in the air or to construct fantasies than to fulfill them. Often our intentions are good, but we ignore the commitment it takes to carry them out. Because nothing grows healthily if it is not cultivated.
Unfortunately, we live convinced that life works as we want and that others will always treat us as we deserve. And when this doesn't happen, we feel frustration, anger and immense suffering.
What did we expect to happen? What actually happened? If we come to ask ourselves these questions, it is because instead of feeding our intentions, we have fomented our expectations.
"It is when expectations are reduced to zero that you truly appreciate what you have."
-Stephen Hawking-
We are slaves to our expectations and we don't even realize it. We forget the importance of facts and cultivate our intentions to make things possible. We prefer to live waiting while life goes by.
The web of expectations
It all starts with a belief, the one they taught us and which we nurture from an early age. About love, family, work or ourselves. Expectations are inevitable. But how we feel depends on the credibility we give them and the extent to which we hold on to them.
Lots of unpleasant emotions such as frustration, anger, sadness or anger they arise from the impact between our too rosy expectations and the harsh reality. Placing our trust in what we hope will happen can cost us dearly. This does not mean that we should not hope, on the contrary, hope motivates us and allows us to have broader horizons.
However, we must not forget the dangers it brings, remembering that to be healthy, our expectations must also be realistic.
As we see, it is dangerous to get caught up in the web of desires that aim for perfection. Everything will always be fine, our relationship will be perfect, our friends are the most loyal and they will never let us down.
They are thoughts like cognitive traps due to the fact that we believe we deserve the best, ignoring that this does not always correspond to what is perfect or ideal. Sometimes the best lies behind what we work for every day, comes from our efforts to achieve true and sincere happiness. An expectation not given by imagination but by intentions, actions and learning.
The web of expectations can be expanded. Just think of how many times we behave according to what others expect of us, or how much it bothers us that others do not do what we imagined.
Unhappiness goes hand in hand with too high expectations. Never forget the famous saying “Don't expect anything from anyone but yourself”, it will help you in your everyday relationships.
“But the expectations were like delicate ceramic. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to shatter ”.
-Brandon Sanderson-
Nurture the intentions to act
Expect what we hope to happen, that others treat us as we deserve, that they recognize our work, that our partner sees what we need. Wait, wait and wait.
Staying motionless waiting for what we would like to happen does nothing but hinder the progress and care of relationships, as well as being a cause of great frustration.
No one is a fortune teller, circumstances do not take into account our desires and the pace of life does not revolve around us. Fantasizing about the future while looking out the window is a good exercise in reflection and relaxation, nothing more. It can be the beginning of everything, the seed to be planted, but intentions and actions are necessary for it to grow. Only in this way will what we imagine will gradually become real.
When we have our goal in mind, we will need a means of transport to reach it and a lot of energy to put it into operation. The secret lies in learning to define what we want, to analyze if it is possible, to cultivate intentions and feed them with actions.
Let's not forget that nothing happens by a miracle. The fire of passion goes out if we don't add wood, the engine that pushes us to go on stops if we don't refuel it. We must be careful not to hang on to our expectations.
"It is not the things themselves that worry us, but the opinions we have of those things."
–Epitteto–
