We are not made with the stencil. Even when it comes to habit formation, each of us responds differently to changes. It depends on our ... attitude. In this article you will discover the theory of the 4 attitudes and the one that belongs to you.
As I mentioned in some of the most recent articles, one of the topics that I have explored the most in the last twelve months has been that of habits.
As a good engineer with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, I have really studied and experimented di ALL.
Reading books and attending courses on effectiveness and personal growth for almost 20 years now, naturally the subject of habits was not new to me.
In all honesty, a lot of the things I found in the initial research phase were the usual four hackneyed platitudes about habits, which I'm sure you know too and I don't want to waste your time on.
This is why I felt the need to go deeper. To study i scientific papers concerning habits, to track down authors that they had said something really innovative and to talk to them experts that for years have helped people “in the field” to change their dysfunctional behaviors.
This second phase of research did not disappoint me.
Specifically, I found out two new fundamental elements that cannot be neglected if we want to change habits effectively and permanently:
- Know all mechanisms on training and reinforcement of habitual behaviors (mechanics of habits) is useful, but not enough. Whenever we introduce a change in our life, in fact, it is absolutely necessary to take care of even the most part unconscious ed emotional that comes into play. An aspect that the main best-sellers on the subject never deal with.
- As often happens in other areas of personal growth, we are not made with the stencil. Each of us is different e answers differently when he has to face a new commitment such as, for example, the introduction of a new habit (or the abandonment of an old one).
A. The emotional component of habits
As I mentioned here and there, the backbone of the course on habits is made up of a real one psychological protocol developed by a Professor and HR Consultant, with a thirty-year career as a Psychotherapist behind him.
This protocol has already been used successfully on hundreds of customers for "the control and change of habits and addictions" (cit.).
Well ... it's "powerful stuff", But above all it is something that I had never seen in 20 years of passion for training and personal growth and it is the reason why I decided to acquire it. exclusive for GetPersonalGrowth readers.
If like me you have tried in the past to establish good habits or get rid of bad ones, you know that these changes often come into play something profound (a bit like the iceberg I chose as an image).
Our unconscious, our emozioni and our convictions in fact, they can be our greatest ally or our greatest enemy whenever we face a change.
The protocol that you will find within the course will allow us to work on these deeper levels, so as to obtain a change of habits that is:
- Natural.
- Radical.
- Permanent.
In today's article, however, I would like to talk to you about the second innovative element that I discovered during my in-depth research phase on the topic of habits. Let's see it together ...
B. The 4 attitudes that condition our behaviors (including habits)
In our life we ​​are continually faced with two types of expectations:
- Le external expectations (work deadlines, university exams, requests from relatives and friends, etc.)
- Le internal expectations (personal projects we want to work on, good habits we want to implement, etc.)
According to the expert Gretchen Rubin, author of The Four Tendencies, how we respond to these external and internal expectations defines what is ours attitude.
Specifically, they exist 4 aptitudes main and each of us has a dominant one: Paladin (Upholder), Inquisitor (Questioner), Obedient (Force) e Rebel (Rebel).
Let's see these 4 profiles in detail, but above all let's try to understand how knowing your attitude is of vital importance to learn how to form your GetPersonalGrowth habits.
[Note: to help you better understand and memorize these 4 profiles we have decided to associate them with super heroes of the Avengers. After all, being able to finally establish new habits with ease can be considered a real super-power!]
The Paladin (Upholder)
Who has an attitude from Paladin it tends to respect both external and internal expectations.
In short, a Paladin will never disappoint you and will hardly disappoint himself.
This is both its biggest strength and its biggest flaw.
In fact, if a Paladin has no difficulty in forming new habits, at times, in doing so, he risks putting too much pressure on himself, generating unnecessary stress and frustration.
If you fall into this category, we'll look at what specific actions you need to take to enjoy your improvement process (and that thing called life) more.
The Inquisitor (Questioner)
Who has an attitude from Inquisitor he gives enough shit about external expectations and respects internal ones if and only he thinks they make sense to him.
In short, the Inquisitor is not satisfied with doing something because "it must be done": he needs to clear reasons e explanations that hold up to its high standards.
This also applies to the habits he intends to form: an Inquisitor, for example, will never start a meditation practice just because "everyone does it" or because some expert has recommended it to him. He needs to know exactly how and why that habit can help him and, before starting it, thoroughly study every detail.
Later we will see specific advice for those with this attitude.
The Obedient
Who has an attitude from Obedient always respects external expectations, but makes a devil's difficulty in honoring internal expectations.
An Obedient is the classic person who goes out of his way for relatives, bosses, colleagues and friends and then never finds the time to devote to himself (does that sound familiar ?!).
Forming new habits is the Achilles heel of those who fall into this category, but fortunately there are ad hoc strategies that an Obedient can apply to turn his weaknesses to his advantage ...
The Rebel (Rebel)
We finally have the Rebel.
Those with this attitude resist both external and internal expectations.
Try to impose something on a Rebel and you will go crazy!
The problem, however, is that the Rebel himself finds it hard to form good habits: on the one hand he understands their value (at least in theory), but on the other hand his soul is too free and independent to "lower himself" to establishing habits or routines in his life. This is his greatest bondage.
Also for the Rebel we will see specific techniques to tame his subversive nature and channel his energy towards higher purposes.
