Do you feel the mistakes of the past continue to define who you are today? If you get this feeling, this article is for you.
Last update: October 18, 2020
For various reasons we become our own judges and our fiercest critics. We judge and condemn ourselves for every little mistake or mistake we make. In addition to this, we continue for years to carry the weight of that “failure” on our shoulders. If each of us were aware of the damage this attitude does to our self-esteem, we would probably abandon it. We are not our mistakes, we are worth so much more.
We have the bad habit of labeling ourselves, of defining ourselves, of assigning ourselves adjectives through which we define the idea we have of ourselves. If we think about it for a moment, we will realize that during the day we talk about ourselves many times, and not always in a positive way. And by speaking we also refer to inner dialogue.
Labels are never adequate resources because they limit us. And this is especially true when we define ourselves based on our negative qualities or experiences. For example, we use phrases like: "I have always been a bad student", "I have no luck in love", "I am shy and embarrassed". How can we be comfortable with ourselves if we define ourselves this way?
We are not our mistakes, we are worth much more ...
We often have specific expectations in various areas of our life and we tend to identify with the results obtained in each of them. When we fail to achieve self-imposed goals, we amplify the negative concept we have of ourselves.
We feel incapable and unsuitable and we forget that our essence, our intrinsic value, has nothing to do with the result of a specific performance. We are also valid if the classmates have not accepted us or if the couple's relationship is in crisis and does not go as hoped.
We also apply if we were fired or if we were not hired for that particular job. We are valid even though along the way we have lost some friends or if we still cannot overcome certain fears.
We are not what others think of us and they do not represent us the discussions in which we have lost control. We are much more than the times in which we have failed or those in which we have preferred not to risk.
We are worth more than the exam we failed to pass, the mistakes we made or the harm we allowed others to do. Our past does not define us. It was a form of apprenticeship and not a life sentence. We are not our mistakes!
We avoid identifying with what surrounds you
When we build our identity e we measure our value on the basis of external events, we give up the power we have over ourselves.
For example, family may be essential to you. You see yourself as a wives, mothers, fathers or husbands, but what if one day your marriage should end? Or if work is the most important thing for you, how would you react if you passed out and were fired?
It is very dangerous to base the foundation of one's life on something external to us, which we therefore cannot control. If you base your social identity only on work or family, at some point you may become "the divorced and unemployed person". The feeling of failure will be enormous and it will be difficult to move forward.
Every mistake is a small step towards success
The healthiest thing to do is to remember that our value is intrinsic, unconditional and does not depend on anything. When we are successful in one thing, we will understand that we are worth more than our mistakes and we will begin to see them as lessons. If we love, accept and value each other unconditionally, every obstacle can be overcome because it does not affect the perception we have of ourselves.
We are always you, even if we make mistakes, if we are afraid or if we fail a test. Mistakes, then, become lessons that help improve and not something to be afraid of or ashamed of. Every “failure” is a stepping stone to success because it makes us wiser and more experienced than before.
For definition, resilient people are more successful and happy because they are able to overcome adversity by becoming better people. This can happen if we understand that change is part of our journey and there is nothing more human than making mistakes.
Don't let yourselves be defined by either your successes or your failures. We are not our mistakes because we are worth so much more.
