Having too high expectations it is often considered negative: according to a commonplace, in fact, those who expect too much risk being disappointed. So many people - for fear of disappointment - give up on creating expectations. It is the same attitude that losers have who - for fear of failure - never take risks. But, quoting Leo Buscaglia, “those who risk nothing do nothing, have nothing and are nothing”.
I don't like this approach as prudent as it is a loser: in life you have to take risks by accepting the fact that - at least sometimes - you can lose (I talk about it more in depth in the article where I suggest how to deal with defeats and turn them in your favor). The important is stay motivated and confident, even after the defeats, and it is precisely for this reason that positive expectations should never be lacking.
Furthermore, it must be considered that it is impossible not to have expectations. In life we ​​always act as "fortune tellers": inevitably we happen to think about how things will go. Then, the advice to live without ever having expectations is hypocritical, as such an approach is not concretely feasible and does not belong to human nature. I believe that expectations exert a powerful and invisible influence that can determine that people behave with us in a certain way and that situations unfold as we anticipated. In this sense, what you get is not necessarily what you want; rather it is what is expected.
Obviously, expectations to empower us should only be positive: in this way anything we confidently expect becomes our "self-fulfilling prophecy". All successful people have confident and positive expectations: they expect success, admiration and happiness, and are hardly disappointed. Conversely, people who do not succeed often have an attitude characterized by negative expectations, cynicism and pessimism. which causes things to go just as they expect (i.e. badly).
Don't expect trouble, as they have a tendency not to disappoint expectations.
Napoleon Hill
Types of expectations
there two kinds of expectations: those towards others and those towards themselves. Let's see below how to best manage them.
Having Expectations of Others: The Pygmalion Effect
Having expectations of others exposes us to the risk of being disappointed: not having control outside of ourselves, we cannot be sure that the people around us behave as we wish. We can, however, influence and suggest them, so that they take on behaviors that are in keeping with our expectations. In this regard, I want to talk to you about the concept of Pygmalion effect, first introduced by the German psychologist Robert Rosenthal. It's about a form of psychological suggestion - deriving from classical studies on self-fulfilling prophecy - whereby people tend to conform to the image other individuals have of them, be it a positive or a negative image. The psychologist Robert Rosenthal led a double-blind experiment showing that teachers' expectations of their students had a tremendous impact on their performance. He also discovered that if the students felt that good results were expected of them, they fared much better than they would have gone without such expectations. In particular, it emerged that the more reliable and authoritative the source was, the greater the likelihood that the expectations would come true.
We all have a certain influence on those people who surround us and who somehow see us as a guiding figure: children, partners, our collaborators, etc. The more important we are in someone's life, the more our expectations can influence their performance, behavior and even personality. Therefore, the most positive, effective and motivating behavior you can adopt is to confidently and consistently expect the best from others. People will do anything not to let you down. Always encourage the people you love: tell them that they will do great things in life, that they are wonderful, and that they are really important to you. Make your loved ones feel the trust you place in them by stimulating them to always give something more. Surely the kindest thing you can do for someone is to say, “I believe in you. I know you can do it. "
Having expectations of yourself
Having expectations towards oneself can undoubtedly be more beneficial than expectations towards others, as they depend only on one's own thoughts and actions. In this sense, the outcomes deriving from expectations towards oneself are much more easily predictable and manageable. You can create your own mindset, your own way of dealing with the world with confidence, expecting the best of yourself in every situation. The expectations you have of yourself are so powerful and influential that they destroy any expectations of others. You may not realize it, but you can create a positive force field around you by always expecting something good from situations that affect you. Be a sort of "reverse paranoid": try to imagine how your approach to life would change if you began to believe with conviction that the universe conspires to do you good! In short, try to see every situation that happens to you as sent from heaven to bring you some advantage, provide you with a teaching or help you be successful: this will determine your mental attitude, which will always be oriented towards a condition of improvement.
One exercise you can do is to say to yourself, "I think something wonderful is going to happen to me today." Repeat this sentence over and over again a day: like this you will be able to spend your days thinking that something good is about to happen to you. Furthermore, you will become more optimistic, positive and cheerful, as you will develop the conviction that life will bring you happiness and success.
Expectations represent a limit that you put on your achievements: you will hardly be able to go beyond the expectations you have about yourself. However, since they are completely under your control, always make sure they are also consistent with what you want to see happen. When you start to consciously work on the positive expectation mindset, you will change your life and your personality.
Always expect the best from yourself!
