Last update: 10 September, 2019
Defining the concept of self-esteem is not easy. We could consider it as the emotional part that derives from the conception we have of ourselves, that is, the emotions we feel based on our self-concept. These emotions in turn generate thoughts and behaviors that reinforce self-concept. For this reason, improve self-esteem it is an easy and difficult task at the same time.
Mindfulness encompasses several proposals with a common goal: to recover full consciousness, full attention and an attentive and reflective presence, which consists in being present in the here and now as observers without being critical of it. We must start from our experiences with great openness and avoiding filters and prejudices. So let's see how to improve self-esteem thanks to mindfulness.
The scale of self-esteem
Self-esteem can be considered as a sensitive element to five processes, which we describe below:
- Self-knowledge. Know yourself, with defects and strengths. Our positive and negative characteristics are part of our life and should not be confused with what is "socially accepted". We can listen to what others think, but in the end it is we who insert each element in our trunk, forming our ethics and consequently conditioning our self-conception and our self-esteem.
- Self-acceptance. Accepting what is currently not possible to change because doing so would have a cost, in terms of resources, that we cannot afford. While waiting to project ourselves towards the future, the present offers us the possibility to reconcile ourselves with the person we are in that moment.
- Self-appreciation. It is about the ability to appreciate one's virtues and abilities, physically and intellectually. This is one of the most important processes; some people find it particularly difficult to distinguish between negative and positive attitudes.
- Self-respect. Many people think they don't deserve what they have or can have. Respecting ourselves means starting an inner dialogue that does not destroy us, that does not feed negative emotions or set in motion attitudes that punish or repress us.
- Self-overcoming. Getting to know each other is the first step to overcome yourself. By carrying out the four processes described, you will have a good conception of yourself and it will be possible to improve self-esteem.
Improve self-esteem with mindfulness. How can this be done?
Once we have learned the five factors that affect, and not a little, our self-esteem, let's see how we can improve them by making use of the meditation practice called mindfulness. It is about working on each of them following a specific order and plan.
To improve self-esteem with mindfulness, we will carry out a series of guided meditation exercises, focused on every single process of self-esteem described above.
Guided meditations are a great tool for working on our self-esteem with mindfulness.
Self-knowledge
This exercise can be explained as follows:
Adopt a comfortable, calm and relaxed posture, focus on the present moment. Inhale and observe your breathing, aware of how the air enters the nostrils and fills the lungs until it reaches the abdomen. Finally, exhale.
You will first have to focus on three flaws and then move on to three virtues. After that, observe them for what they are: a part of you. Always remember that they are necessary and make you unique and special; precisely for this reason you will have to observe them without judging them and without judging yourselves.
Open your eyes slowly and move slowly.
Duration: 10-15 min.
Understanding who we are is fundamental to becoming the people we want to be. By becoming aware of who we are, we will begin a spontaneous transformation process. If, on the contrary, we try to transform ourselves into who we should be, not only would we not produce any change, but we would keep the past, only with a different appearance.
Self-acceptance
The self-acceptance process is the most difficult. Almost all people would like to improve something of themselves, because they are not happy with some aspects, whether they are related to the body, personality or their way of being.
As well as for self-knowledge, we will perform a meditation exercise, but this time aimed at self-acceptance. Accepting our characteristics that we don't like is not easy, but it is a necessary step to improve self-esteem.
Assume a comfortable and relaxed posture again. Breathe in and focus on your breathing. Leave behind prejudices and external judgments e just accept yourself. To accept yourself, with your positive and negative qualities, your strengths and weaknesses, your lights and shadows.
Turn your attention to the defects you have identified in order to treat them and accept them for what they are, a part of you. While observing the flaw, repeat the following phrases to yourself "I accept myself completely and deeply" or "I love and respect myself, completely and deeply".
As for the virtues, breathe in again and focus on them, observing them, understanding them and letting them circulate within you. Wake up from this meditative state of semi-consciousness and slowly open your eyes, move your hands, legs and other parts of the body. As you can see, improving self-esteem with the help of mindfulness is possible starting from self-acceptance.
Duration: 10-15 min.
Wanting to be another person is to mistreat the person you are now
Self-appreciation
Being modest doesn't help, in reverse. Take a notebook and write down every aspect you are good at and give it the score it deserves.
Don't worry if you end up hierarchizing these aspects. Each of us has different qualities to be proud of.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Self-respect
Needs and desires are consequent to life itself and constitute any direct path to happiness. We try to respect ourselves, to find our skills and to preserve, in the face of any circumstance, a space for positive emotions.
We try not to blame ourselves for mistakes and not to compare our feeling of happiness with that of others. If we are convinced that we are doing something right, we must not avoid being happy about it.
If the grass in the garden looks greener and greener… stop looking, comparing and complaining, start watering the lawn you are standing on instead.
Self-overcoming
The last and fundamental step to improve self-esteem with the help of mindfulness it is that of self-overcoming. If the person knows himself, he will always be able to outdo himself in his personal life.
As we have already said, it is important to know, accept, appreciate and respect each other. Only in this way can we overcome ourselves and improve our self-esteem. In this way we will be able to make more correct decisions and to resolve everyday situations or problems promptly and judiciously.
Improving self-esteem is possible. To do this, you have to knowing each other, accepting each other, appreciating and respecting each other, and then surpassing oneself. It is important to follow all the processes described. for it is not possible to be happy with oneself and improve oneself if they are not followed in the right order.
