Inside each of us three different "I" coexist which work in concert to help shape our unique personality. We have a "parental self", an "adult self" and a "child me" that act (and react) in a similar way to parents, adults and children in the real world.
Your "I adult" represents the rational part of you. It collects information and data, and makes logical decisions without being overwhelmed by emotion. Prepare your schedule, settle your accounts, check your bills, and so on.
Your "I parent" makes you a series of recommendations: Tie your shoes, brush your teeth, eat vegetables, study, be on time, exercise, meet deadlines, get projects done. In short, it is yours inner critic, that part of you that judges you when you don't live up to your standards. But it is also the part that it reassures you, protects you and takes care of you, providing for your maintenance. It is the part that gives you confirmations on your value, which appreciates and expresses you recognition when you do your best.
Your "I baby"instead, it does what they do all the children: whimpers, begs for attention, craves to be pampered and expresses himself strongly when his needs are not met. As we proceed along the path of our life it is as if we were living with a three-year-old child who doesn't give up and asks us all the time: Why are we sitting at this desk? Why don't we have more fun? Why are we still awake at this time of night? Why do we read this boring report? As a parent of this inner child, one of your most important tasks is to engage and reward him to perform well while you are busy pursuing your goals.
Imagine that you are the parent of a three-year-old: you are ending a working relationship, and your child is starting to complain. So, to make him feel good, you could promise him that you will take him to eat ice cream or play a video game; but only if he's good.
Not surprisingly your inner child is no different from a real child. When you ask him to sit still, let you finish your work, stay up late and so on, he will behave well. as long as he knows he will be rewarded at the end of the good behavior. At some point, he must know that he will read a novel, go to the cinema, listen to music, go out with friends, go dancing, let off steam, go to a restaurant or take a vacation.
The child who does not play is not a child, but the adult who does not play has forever lost the child within him.
Pablo Neruda
For greater success, it is really important that you reward yourself when you get a win. This is because rewarding yourself for your successes keeps the inner child happy next time you need him to behave well. He knows he can trust you, because you will ultimately keep your promises. If you don't, just like a real child, he will start sabotaging your efforts by making things (e.g. mistakes) that will hinder you by compromising your job, so that you are forced to take some time off. And that will only take you further away from what you really want. Also, consider that those who are successful in life and in work are able to preserve the typical aspects of being children, that is, enthusiasm, fun, the desire to play and get involved.
Then don't think of your inner child as something negative anymore. It's true: growing up also means becoming mature people, but without your childish side you can't go anywhere. There is no master's degree, curriculum, career or facelift that will take!
