Building relationships is part of life. Indeed, relationships are an incredible source of well-being, they give us the support we need in difficult times and they give us joy. But there are times when relationships do not bring us anything positive, on the contrary, they become a source of stress and suffering. It happens when we interact with toxic people, people who deprive us of our energy and enthusiasm, which deeply affect our emotional balance.Why do we fall into the net of a toxic person?
Some people find themselves involved in toxic relationships without even realizing it. In fact, it is a fairly common problem, since we are not always able to immediately grasp the true intentions of people. Because?- We are in a vulnerable phase. If you've moved cities or lost a loved one, you are probably going through a phase where you feel particularly vulnerable. Having someone by your side, a couple or a friend, would be helpful, so lower your psychological defenses and let toxic people into your life.- They fed our ego. Toxic people are excellent manipulators, so at first they often appear alert and charming. In fact, you probably brought them into your life because they were telling you what you wanted to hear, when no one else was. They have met your expectations, your ego has grown to the point that you cannot see reality, becoming a kind of crystal through which you see only the positive aspects of this relationship.
- We want to get approval. Wanting to please everyone at any cost, seeking acceptance from others often leads to toxic relationships. In these cases the person realizes that the other is a manipulator, but does not find a way to escape his network because he thinks that any refusal on his part will make him look rude or deprive him of the approval he needs. .
How to recognize a toxic person?
When the toxic person is someone close to us, such as a friend, relative or even our partner, it is difficult to recognize them as feelings complicate things. However, sharing our life with a toxic person can become very debilitating and we may eventually become infected with their negativity. Therefore, the first step in ending this relationship is to be aware that you are a toxic person.1. Always focuses on the negative side of thingsSometimes we dwell on the negative side of things, it is normal, especially when things have gone wrong. However, there are some deeply pessimistic people who always see the glass as half empty, are unable to appreciate the positive aspects of life but always focus on mistakes and problems. Obviously, always having these toxic people by our side can be very tiring and disheartening because we are infected with their negativity.
2. He never listens to your problemsThis is the typical person who comes to you whenever you have a problem but is not willing to listen to your problems and give you emotional support. This person expects you to be by their side when they need them, but they are unwilling to help you when you need them. In fact, it is likely that you are telling him about your problems and ending up worrying about his, which are infinitely minor. Obviously, such a person weighs down your life and only makes you feel more alone.
3. She is always ready to point out your shortcomingsWe all have flaws and sometimes having an honest person around to point them out is useful for growing and improving. But the line between honesty and over-criticism is very thin and can be bridged easily. A person who is always ready to point out your mistakes and defects, who always has criticism ready, but who never recognizes your abilities and successes, is a toxic person; rather than offering you the support you need it undermines your self-esteem and self-confidence.
4. It often annoys youIn interpersonal relationships it is normal for there to be moments of friction caused by divergent opinions and interests. However, toxic people always manage to annoy you and end up making you feel negative emotions, because you are angry or because you feel guilty. If every time you meet someone you end up losing your emotional balance and feeling bad, it is likely that they are toxic.
5. Doesn't consider your feelingsMost people are able to show some empathy as it is an essential ability to survive in our society. Empathy not only allows us to put ourselves in the place of others, but also to balance our words and attitudes to avoid harming our interlocutor. But the toxic person doesn't care about your feelings, so they don't hesitate to step on them, because that's their priority.
6. He presses you to do things you don't likeToxic people are deeply selfish, so they often don't have a hard time pressuring you just to achieve their goal. These people always care about their interests and are not willing to give in, so they use different methods to pressure and manipulate you into making decisions that go against your values, needs and desires. In fact, if you are not careful, you could end up with your hands and feet tied to living a life that does not belong to you just because the person next to you is pressing you to do so.
7. It fills you with doubtsFrom time to time, it's nice to have a wise counselor to point out the risks we run into making certain decisions. However, there are people who are only able to see difficulties and their only goal is to sow doubts. They are not prudent people, but they spend their whole life in fear, because they don't have the courage to leave their comfort zone and they don't want others to do it either. Therefore, they are constantly busy boycotting any project, creating uncertainty around them. These toxic people specialize in clipping wings and erasing other people's dreams.
8. Continuously exceed your limitsThere are very pushy people who do not respect your rights and often cross the red lines you have drawn. It is as if they are constantly pulling on the rope to see how long your patience lasts. These toxic people continually invade your personal space, rob you of your time, and expect you to always be available when they need it, if you are not there they are likely to resort to emotional manipulation to make you feel guilty.
9. It does not assume its responsibilitiesA person who does not take responsibility, who has an external locus of control, is difficult to manage because he will always be complaining. And since the responsibility is never his, he will always be on the lookout for scapegoats to blame, so it's no wonder you turn into one of them. These people are like little children, never matured individuals who put all the responsibility on your shoulders.
10. Resists changeSometimes, when we want to maintain certain relationships, we have to change, it is a normal process, adapt to others. But in a relationship it is necessary to change both, each must overcome the distance that separates it from the other. If a person is never willing to give in and doesn't want to change, and doesn't even want to try, then it's best to break this relationship as there is no will or compromise for it to work. its manipulative tactics, one must learn to manage them. In this post you can find out how to deal with toxic people.
- 178
