Our greatest satisfaction and happiness come from interpersonal relationships. But also our most serious problems, unfortunately. Immersed, as we are, in different social groups from birth, it is not surprising that conflicts often arise that alter our psychological balance. However, in some cases the problem is even more serious as they are not specific situations but recurring conflicts.In fact, it is not uncommon to meet people who constantly complain because, in one way or another, they always end up being victims of others. These are people who, even if they change jobs, cities or groups of friends, always end up falling into the same toxic relationship patterns. These toxic people are not toxic per se, the problem is that their behavior and attitudes attract those who are.What are the toxic relationships?
A relationship is toxic when it prevents you from developing your potential and makes you feel bad. From this point of view, toxic relationships can be established not only in the couple, but also between parents and children, friends and even colleagues.
In a healthy relationship, each person contributes a part of themselves, leaving a certain freedom to the other and contributing to their growth. In a toxic relationship, a person tries to dominate and manipulate, even in spite of the other's needs and interests. As a result, the victim is unhappy. If this situation is not resolved, over time it can also cause serious psychological problems, such as depression, or profound damage to one's self-image and self-esteem.
What are the most dangerous relationships?
1. Relationships that aim to "fill" the person
Some people think their life will be full and wonderful if they meet someone to share their dreams and problems with. It is true that meeting someone to share our dreams with, someone who will support us in the most difficult moments, can be comforting. However, for a relationship to be healthy and mature, each of the people involved must first be healthy, and separately.
The idea that the other can fill the void is wrong. In reality, these people cannot get rid of their misery and boredom so they end up feeling frustrated and blaming each other. It is not a good idea to start a relationship to make up for personal shortcomings. Only when we truly love ourselves will we be able to fully love others.
Furthermore, in these relationships, one person is given the responsibility of "completing" the other. And ultimately this role generates anguish and negatively affects the quality of the relationship, causing it to deteriorate.
2. Relationships in which only one person takes control
Power struggles occur in most relationships, some may be more visible, others remain implicit. However, once the relationship is consolidated, everyone takes on a certain role and the power is distributed as evenly as possible. However, there are cases where a person takes full control of the relationship.
At first, this can also be comfortable because it is the other person who decides and assumes all the responsibilities. But this relationship is very limiting, because one of the two loses the right to express his opinion and decide, he loses his autonomy, independence, self-esteem and self-confidence. Therefore, that person will feel trapped, unable to grow.
Every relationship involves cooperation, it is necessary that both people involved feel free to express their opinions and that these are taken into consideration. Decisions should be made by mutual agreement, not by imposition or non-compliance with duties.
3. Relationships that are based on unrealistic expectations
Some people do not accept others, and they go out of their way to change them, they want to turn them into people like them. In these cases, the relationship was not initiated with the "real" person, but with the "ideal" person. For example, someone may start a relationship thinking that the characteristics of the other that they do not like will disappear as if by magic.
However, the basis of all interpersonal relationships is acceptance. Relationships based on unrealistic expectations will, over time, cause frustration and suffering because disappointment will soon appear.
Furthermore, the person being asked to change will feel inadequate because they will perceive that they are not valued for who they really are, but are subject to constant criticism. Ultimately, these relationships end up being very harmful because one of the two does not accept the other, who, however much he tries to change, will never be able to meet all expectations.
4. Co-dependent relationships
In this type of relationship both people are addicted, take a passive role and lose their individuality. It is curious why no one accepts the dominant role but both need the approval of the other to make any decision, even the smallest one. This is because they always prioritize the needs of the other.
Although at first glance this way of relating may also seem ideal, the problem is that these people tend to accumulate a lot of resentment, because even if they have chosen this type of relationship, they end up blaming others for their misfortunes and decisions. wrong.
Indeed, in any relationship both people must take responsibility for their actions. It is important to rely on the other to make decisions, but this does not mean that we have to lose our identity.
5. Relationships based on blackmail
In this type of relationship there is always a manipulator, someone who knows perfectly the weaknesses of the other and does not hesitate to use them to his advantage to get what he wants. This person maintains the relationship only because it suits him, but will not hesitate to get rid of it when he no longer needs it.
In this relationship, one of the two submits to the other, because he feels a sense of guilt. The person feels trapped in a web of emotions and is afraid to flee, due to the possible consequences that his decision could have.
Ultimately, the relationship with a blackmailer always ends up being very expensive, especially on an emotional level. So it is better to put a stop to it because these people will not hesitate to make more and more exaggerated requests.
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