“Things are better for people who make things better,” said John Wooden. What this basketball coach was referring to is the fact that the best things do not come by themselves in our life, as if by magic, but we must strive to make them happen or have the intelligence and sensitivity necessary to grasp the opportunity when it presents itself.However, if we look around us, we see that the world is full of people who are in debt, feel trapped in a job they dislike, and are always engaged in humble activities that do not give them any satisfaction.The curious side is that many of these people think happiness is just around the corner. That is, they believe that if only something changed they would be happier. They think happiness will come if they win the lottery, or when they finish paying the mortgage, or if they could move to live in another country ...
The problem is that behind these beliefs lies the idea that happiness can be achieved when pain and suffering are eliminated. It is as if happiness is hidden under a stone. But that's not the case, eliminating pain or suffering doesn't necessarily mean being happier.
Happiness is a personal decision
To subordinate happiness to a condition means to think that this state of mind depends on the circumstances, and not on ourselves. In this way we automatically become puppets of destiny, hoping to reach ideal conditions. Therefore, this also means that if the right circumstances are not produced, we will never be happy.
However, those who have traveled the world and who have explored and experienced other cultures, have realized that happiness does not necessarily depend on "perfect circumstances", but rather that it is a personal decision.
Happy people do not live in a paradise, they are not immune from problems, but they have decided to focus on the aspects of life that give them joy and satisfaction. Happy people have decided to change the glasses through which they observe the world and instead of focusing on the negative aspects, they prefer to give importance to the positive things.
There are people who have been brought up in a culture that has given them this attitude, or perhaps their parents have been able to instill this way of seeing life in them. Others learned this for themselves. But there is no doubt about one thing, it is not an innate attitude, we can all learn to be happy.
Obviously, if you have spent many years of your life with a defeatist and negative attitude, it will not be easy to change it overnight. Either way, there are some questions that can help you on the path to change.
Questions that lead to happiness
1. What should I feel grateful for? Gratitude is one of the pillars of happiness. Of course, hopefully it's easy to find reasons to feel grateful, but the important thing is to find these reasons even in the face of adversity. When everything around you seems to be tinged with black, there are still reasons to be grateful. When you feel gratitude from within, the world immediately changes color.
2. What makes me happy? Surprisingly, this is one of the hardest questions to answer, because most people focus on avoiding what causes pain, but are unaware of what makes them happy. However, you must think about those activities that fill you with joy, that give you real satisfaction and make you feel alive. These are the activities you should focus on.
3. What progress have I made? We often get discouraged and lose the joy of living because we focus on failures, on how difficult the path has been so far, or how much we still have to do. However, it is advisable from time to time to look back and recognize what we have achieved. We have all made progress, but it is that sometimes we underestimate them or do not recognize them. Look back and focus on what you have built.
4. Who loves me? There are few things in life that give more satisfaction than the affection and love of others, it can be the partner, a parent, a friend or even a teacher with whom you have a special relationship and has become your mentor. When you feel alone, remembering those people will help you regain your joy.
5. Who can I help? One of the reasons happiness eludes us is because we focus too much on ourselves. However, happiness is also encountered in helping others. In compromise and compassion, the best part of ourselves is hidden, the one that gives us the most satisfaction. Making others happy also means making ourselves happy.
6. What can I do for the world? Several studies have shown that people who choose to get involved in causes that surpass them as individuals also feel more fulfilled and happier. We can all contribute to a better world, no matter how big or small. Through this simple act one encounters a sense of life that until then had remained hidden.
7. What options are available to me? One of the things we often forget is that we always have the power to decide. Therefore, no matter how black the horizon is, we can always evaluate other options. We may not catch a glimpse of them at first because we feel dizzy and trapped, but if we persist, we will be able to see multiple alternatives. The simple act of choosing a path other than the predetermined one can be a source of true happiness.
Remember that happiness is not about waiting for perfect circumstances, but about being able to discover them even in the midst of a storm.
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