Maybe it is your partner, your parents, your children, the boss, your best friend or a colleague, people you interact with often and who, little by little, are gaining prominence in your life, sometimes too much.
These people can negatively affect the way you think, feel and behave, affecting your emotional balance because you have given them too much power. And as their control grows, you shrink more and more.
The problem is that often the signals are so subtle that they go unnoticed and we attribute them to other circumstances. But learning to recognize signs of domination or manipulation early is essential to regain control of your life.
The signs of emotional control that indicate that you are putting your life in the hands of others
- You feel more and more guilty
If you change your decisions and behaviors because someone has a strong sentimental influence on you, it means that you are giving them enormous power. If that person plays the blame card, directly or indirectly, and you feel that the responsibility is totally yours, you feel bad about things that don't correspond to you, it is likely that they are manipulating you. This is why, if when you are next to a person you tend to feel guilty, it is a warning sign that you have given them too much freedom to play with your emotions.
- His opinion determines your self-esteem
Some people do not like the decisions you make and may give you their opinion on respect, but if you suddenly notice that you start to feel bad because their opinions generate a negative image of yourself, then it is time to take a step back. . If you find that your self-esteem rises and falls depending on someone's opinion or degree of acceptance, you have a problem: you are giving them too much power and allowing their ratings to influence your mood.
- You complain about the things you "must" do
If you find that you have been complaining more than usual lately, it could be that someone is trying to matter their decisions and outlook on life. It is common among parents and children, for example, of those who intend to decide on their children's lives by "forcing" them to take responsibility and undertake projects that do not really interest them, just because that is what they are supposed to "have" to do. Therefore, if dissatisfaction has taken root in your life and compromises are starting to weigh on you lately, it is time to reconsider your priorities.
- Insist on showing someone is wrong
Sometimes, when someone has too much power over you, instead of using a direct confrontation strategy, you engage in a subconscious struggle to prove them wrong by pretending to regain your freedom. In reality, it is a useless strategy that leads nowhere. Your decisions are yours, you don't have to convince others, so if you find that you are trying to convince someone that you made the right decisions, you should reconsider your true motives. It is one thing to explain your motives and another to need that person's approval.
- You try too hard to avoid criticism
The opinions of others can help you grow and make better decisions, but if at some point you find that you are trying hard just to avoid criticism, you have a problem. It means that you are devoting your life to trying to please others, instead of doing what you like and want. It is obvious that we have to find an intermediate point, but it is equally obvious that it is not possible to live the life that others want for us. That is why, if you fear criticism from a person, it is because you have given him such power over your life that you allow him to measure your worth with his meter.
- Allow me to bring out the worst in you
We all have a bright side and a darker side. It's normal. But if you find that when you relate to a person you almost always respond with anger and irritation, it means that you are giving them too much power over you, allowing them to bring out your worst side. That person exerts a negative influence and will not help you grow, quite the opposite. As emotionally stable as we may be, there are people who are difficult to deal with, people who end up testing our inner peace.
- You spend a lot of time talking about someone you don't like
Every minute you spend thinking about someone you don't like or complain about their attitude is 60 seconds of lost happiness. The problem is that many times that person catches you in his web and, without realizing it, little by little you spend more time complaining than solving the problem. So, if you often think about someone's attitudes, abusive words or criticisms, you are giving them too much importance and perhaps you should learn to establish a healthy psychological distance.
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