Can you love two people at the same time?
It often happens that we feel in love with two people at the same time. And maybe they are different enough that it becomes impossible to choose between them: each has something special that makes it unique.
Whatever choice you make, you know you will lose a lot.
The first step is to take a quick test that allows you to understand immediately who you are most in love with, or in love with.
Each question describes something you feel, feel, think or do. Choose the person to whom matches more that definition.
For convenience, the answers are "person 1" or "person 2". Of course, you can also choose the "Both" answer if you feel the two people, by that definition, are on the same level.
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Loving two people: falling in love or what?
A woman wrote to me asking if it is possible love two men.
One le da security, the other he does it feel alive.
One is the husband with whom she has two children, the other a colleague who transmits passion and attention to her.
A guy wrote to me to tell me if he can love two women.
He started dating them more or less at the same time, he gets along well with both and despite being very different would not know how to be without one of them.
How to choose?
The main problem is that we confuse love with a relationship, the choice to love with attachment (often dependence and need) towards a special person.
As you saw in the test, what usually looks like love to us (and is actually falling in love) actually has the same effect as drugs: it is addictive.
The point is, we start a relationship to feel good, we look for positive emotions.
There is no other reason.
And when I ask myself if I can love two people, the point is that they both give me positive emotions.
They can be "direct", meaning being with that person makes you feel good.
Or "indirect", that is, that person allows you to get something that makes you feel good.
At the base, therefore, there is this: positive emotions.
So we start a relationship when we count that this is a source of well-being.
Or you save us from being unwell.
And you see this especially if you think about the relationships we carry on.
We cultivate them only if they make us feel good, in a "direct" or "indirect" way as mentioned before, but we could continue a relationship that does not make us feel good if this serves to avoid consequences and situations that we consider even worse.
If you think about it, it is likely that when you approached, or approached, the second person (in chronological order), something with the first it was not good.
Maybe it was something failed you were looking for (understanding, excitement, novelty, security, or much more), maybe there were more problems or stress, maybe more.
Almost certainly, if you look closely, you will see that negative emotions emerged o you felt less positive emotions with this person.
While with the other the opposite happened.
Emotions.
And for the same reason, we actually decide to cut them off.
You want because we replace them with others that make us feel good (or better), or because that relationship has become a source of discomfort and suffering and we want to get out of it.
So you realize that are your emotions determine who you will start having a relationship with, if you continue to carry it on, if and when you can decide to end it.
But do you know where the beauty lies?
What theemotion never depends on others.
So you start a relationship with the illusion that that person makes you feel good.
Or you always close it with the illusion that that person is making you feel bad.
If you find yourself undecided, or undecided, between two people, it is because you are under the illusion of receiving positive emotions from both.
Indeed it does not depend on the other, but on you.
And so your emotions decide for you who you will hang out with.
If you learned to stay always good, everywhere, with anyone and whatever you do, you would have the freedom to initiate the relationships that are healthier for you, or close the harmful ones.
You would really decide who to hang out with, instead of undergoing the dictatorship of your emotions.
And that could make you create truly loving relationships.
And you would know how to choose.
Because if you're with me because you're okay, it means you love me, or that I need you to feel good?
Do you love me or use me?
So how to untie the knot that brought you here today?
Are you a selfish person?
Answer the 7 questions in my selfishness test.
It will allow you to understand if (and to what extent) you are a selfish person.Start quiz Continue Complete the form below to see the results Leave your name and email to subscribe to my newsletter and receive the test result. Your name: Your email: I consent to the processing of my data in compliance with the privacy regulations. Show results
Is it possible to love two people at the same time?
We experience love as something that happens and if we feel we feel it towards two people at the same time, we get confused.
Among other things, it is easy that those directly interested (or directly interested) would have none at all: they would say that you have to choose and it is impossible to love two people at the same time, at least in the same way.
The crisis arises because the doubt of loving two at the same time derives from our need: we are uncertain why we don't know who will make us happier, who will make us feel better, who will satisfy most our expectations.
A boy experiences a situation where he is one of two people.
The wife has to figure out if she wants to be with him or with the person she fell in love with at some point.
On the one hand the husband who is willing to give her time and love her anyway, on the other a lover who is jealous and does not want her to be with her husband anymore.
This is a first clue: if you really want to choose who can make you happier, choose who he would know how to love you even if you went away. Choose who does not limit you, not ultimatum, does not feel anger, does not want to control you.
The intensity of the emotions you feel is almost never a rye that that route is the best. To understand it better, I suggest you read this newsletter with which I explain how to understand if a person loves you.
But this is not yet the right way to choose.
It would be interest, you would do it to "use" the love of the other to feel good.
We must instead go beyond and understand how you can free yourself from fear to make the wrong choice.
Does it make sense to continue your relationship as a couple?
Answer my test questions to find out.
It will allow you to understand if your relationship has the characteristics to last or not.
We can love two people only if we learn to love
Indeed if we love only one person, we do not love at all.
Love is the choice of giving everything without asking for anything. When this choice excludes all but a few people, it is because of our selfishness.
We expect something from them and not everyone else, that's why we say we love them more: because we expect more.
But where there is demand, there is never love.
Obviously the problem arises because we confuse the couple relationship, which must be based on love, with love itself.
A relationship is born when two people they choose to love each other without expecting anything in return, when they decide we will build a unique path for both.
This choice must be exclusive, that is a choice of two, and obviously we cannot pair up with two people at the same time.
But this does not mean that we cannot authentically love them both.
When we experience love in a distorted way, as something that others must give us, when we delegate our happiness to them, the problem is not whether we can love two people at the same time, but whether we are capable of truly loving or not.
As always, after all, the point is learn to love and make it our way of life.
When I love I don't need anyone to be happy because loving is already all I really need. So I am free to give without expecting and I love unconditionally without limits, without exclusions.
As I explained to you earlier, we create relationships based on our emotions.
But these do not let us try them, we create them.
Tu you create your own happiness that never depends, and I NEVER emphasize, on those around you.
As long as you think about others trying to figure out who will make you happier, you will never be able to choose or truly love.
Before concluding, also read this page where I explain how to make a choice.
It is possible to love two people at the same time and even more!
At that point of people at the same time I love millions and I can build, with one of them, a couple relationship that is based on love and not on my demands.
Yes, because a couple relationship is, by definition, made up of two people (a couple in fact!).
And above all, I don't choose it on the basis of my convenience (who will give me more?). Read also how to find the right person, a guide that explains how to clarify your ideas and make this choice.
I don't have to solve the problem by making a choice, but understanding reality and starting to love authentically.
As long as I experience the couple as the main source of satisfaction, I can always be a victim of this doubt. The moment I start loving and being happy, the doubt no longer exists 😉
