Sometimes, without realizing it, we end up getting used to situations that make us unhappy. We adapt to the daily routine and settle for relationships that don't make us happy simply because we just keep going, driven by habits that determine the pace of our life.
In practice, it is as if life is spinning so fast that we do not have time to stop, think and realize that we are not going in the right direction, or at least for a path that allows us to be happier and more satisfied. So we keep running on autopilot, forgetting to live, and just surviving as best we can.
The pursuit of security is a double-edged sword
When we were little, our parents made a double knot in our shoelaces so that it wouldn't untie and make us fall. They closed our coat tightly so that we didn't get cold. These treatments made us feel a little pressure, but we put up with them because they also gave us a feeling of safety and security.
This mechanism does not go away as we grow: we endure some pressures because they make us feel safer. Although we are not always aware of it, in many cases we prefer safety to happiness. This is why many people spend their entire lives dreaming of something but never decide to take the plunge, because this would mean giving up the security they have gained.
The problem arises when that security does not make us happier, but transforms us into embittered and frustrated people, with our gaze always directed towards a future that we do not dare to turn into reality. The problem is that we have created such close bonds that they prevent us from breathing.
Adaptation guarantees survival, not happiness
Our adaptability is enormous, but the problem is that adaptation is synonymous with survival, not happiness. This means that we can adapt to situations that do not make us happy just because the survival instinct prevails, which is very powerful.
This is one of the reasons why people spend much of their life doing a job they don't like, or maintain relationships that no longer satisfy them emotionally with people with whom they no longer have anything in common beyond the habits they built in. over the years.
We adapt to situations that make us unhappy because these usually settle down gradually. Without realizing it, we submit to a systematic desensitization mechanism. It often happens with violence: first the verbal humiliations arrive, then the first blow and in the end the violence becomes the daily bread.
However, desensitization is not limited to violence but extends to all spheres of life. And when the situation is very painful or causes cognitive dissonance, we put into practice several defense mechanisms that protect us. In displacement, for example, we redirect an emotion or a feeling to a person or an object that cannot respond, because in this way we can continue to maintain a relationship with the person who really generated that feeling. Obviously, living like this implies condemning yourself to unhappiness, it's like living with your eyes closed denying yourself the possibility of having something better.
To be happy you have to make decisions
There is a time for adaptation and a time for change. There are times when we need to rest in our comfort zone and others where we need to get out of it. The key is to find balance and knowing when it's time to change.
Happiness doesn't come by itself, decisions need to be made. You must be aware that in order to move forward you will have to leave something behind. If you try to carry everything with you, the weight will not allow you to move forward. There will come a time in life when you don't need to double knot your shoes, but you can dare to walk barefoot. If you really want it. At that point you will have to ask yourself: how much security am I willing to give up to pursue my dreams?
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