Emotional reconstruction is the art of doing something to save ourselves when we find ourselves in a "dead end". It is the ability to manage our emotions to find harmony and well-being.
Last update: 15 November 2020
We have all experienced that comparable feeling of falling into the void without a parachute or as if we were drowning without finding anything to hold on to. These are moments of extreme sadness in which we do not see the light nor the possibility of finding it. These are the moments when we need an emotional reconstruction.
Emotionally rebuilding means finding safety and moving forward, even if in small steps. It also means reducing risks and finding solid points in your life to build a solid foundation that allows you to re-emerge.
Emotional reconstruction is a hard and difficult path in which you will use a good part of the energy that you have left. Nonetheless, it will be a worthwhile investment. In this article, we explain what it is and present some strategies that can help you.
"Rebuilding ourselves is part of the journey we are experiencing."
If I know myself, I manage myself better
Emotional reconstruction is about designing and laying new foundations for our life. It means transforming and eliminating everything that hurts us. For this purpose, it is necessary to analyze what happened. Perhaps the time has come to sit down and analyze what has happened lately and why you have found yourself in the condition you are experiencing.
This is a useful exercise for both winning and losing, although in the latter case, introspection is only aided by emotional inertia. On the other hand, it is a gradual path where there is room for insight: when we identify problems and are aware of them, we become more aware of ourselves.
"Emotionally rebuilding ourselves is the art of taking care of ourselves in the most difficult moments."
Emotional reconstruction, the art of being assertive
Assertiveness is an art. It is about effectively express our position when a situation is not favorable. On many occasions it is not easy to say no to a loved one or a superior, even if we are only defending our rights.
Why do we need assertiveness for emotional reconstruction? Because it opens up a space where we can see ourselves as being autonomous, with capabilities and rights (as well as obligations and responsibilities). In this way, we can strengthen the control over us that has been affected by the feelings of helplessness.
I love myself and I rebuild myself
Another step of emotional reconstruction is to rediscover self-esteem, or that set of feelings that derive from the concept we have of ourselves. It has to do with the most emotional part of our ego.
Why is it so important in emotional reconstruction? Because we are more inclined to take care of those who take care of us (generates positive feelings in us). If we take care of ourselves, then we will want to take care of ourselves. It may seem complex, but you will find that it is not that difficult: it is just a circle that closes.
Welcome changes!
Emotional reconstruction involves several internal and external changes. Some authors identify two types of changes. In particular, Paul Watzlawich, one of the main authors of the theory of human communication, describes them in his book Change: the formation and solution of problems referring to the individual in relation to the system. He focuses above all on those situations in which the person feels that there is no way out and therefore talks about:
- Change 1. Make changes to return to a similar situation as before the crisis.
- Change 2. Changes that put us in a different position compared to the beginning of the crisis. In this case we speak of transformation.
We can learn something from every change, be it type 1 or type 2. It is also true that it is not always possible or easy to achieve a type 2 change. So, regaining balance through a type 1 change can also help us.
The benefits of emotional reconstruction
Emotional reconstruction offers great benefits. Here are some of them:
- Better quality of life.
- Building healthier relationships.
- Improve the relationship with ourselves.
- Improve our knowledge of ourselves.
- Increase our self-esteem.
- Improve our emotional management.
- Lower levels of suffering.
- Enhance our assertiveness.
Emotional reconstruction largely depends on our willpower and decisions, even if in the end the help of others can be very precious. Furthermore, if we deem it appropriate, we can always turn to a professional who can help us shape our emotional reconstruction.
Before concluding, it is good to remember that, although we are talking about emotional reconstruction, it is never just a reconstruction at this level. For example, cognitive reconstruction must also be taken into account. The various reconstructions on the theoretical level are easy to separate, but in practice they have undefined limits.
Emotional reconstruction is a real adventure. Nonetheless, we shouldn't be afraid to face it, especially since it offers excellent results when done in emotionally positive moments. The reason? We have more energy available and in general there are not many changes to be made.
