It is never wrong to express emotions, even if tradition and popular judgment have defended the exact opposite for centuries. Find out why it is important to do this.
Last update: Augusts 22, 2020
Expressing our emotions helps us feel better, so it's always a healthy exercise. Sometimes there is no specific technique that directly helps us change our mood. However, it is true that on many occasions expressing our emotions is a healthy and cathartic habit.
Said so it seems easy. In my personal and professional experience I have found that, with habit, the road to emotional catharsis becomes gradually less steep. In large part, it is the social and cultural conditioning that prevent us from delving into our deepest selves and opening up to others.
Fear, shame, the anticipation of other people's thoughts also play a fundamental role in this regard. This is how, for one reason or another or a combination of factors, in most cases we ignore the strategies for expressing emotions and we keep everything we want to scream inside.
«Feelings and emotions are the universal language that must be respected. They are the authentic expression of who we are. "
-Judith Wright-
Is it wrong to express emotions?
It is never wrong to express emotions, even if tradition and popular judgment have defended the exact opposite for centuries. If this tradition has weakened, it means that the new generations have a simpler path ahead of them, but also that we must partly forget what we have learned and assimilated over time.
Expressing emotions is a cathartic act.
We feel the first emotions as babies, when we cry or laugh to express ourselves. Little by little, the range of our emotions is enriched: anger, fear, guilt, happiness, sadness, love, etc. It is easy to wonder at this point: if emotions are so genuine and natural, why do we repress them, hide them, prevent their expression with all our strength?
We talked before about the social conditionings that limit us, examples are the phrases we have heard repeated a thousand times such as "Don't cry otherwise they'll think you're weak, a child like you doesn't cry" or "a young lady doesn't behave like this" said to a little girl expressing her anger or "real men are not afraid".
“An emotion does not cause pain. Resistance or suppression of an emotion, those that cause pain. "
-Frederick Dodson-
If during our childhood we do not count on an environment that stimulates and enhances our emotional development (directly, but also through positive models), we will tend to ignore our emotional world.
In the absence of proper emotional education, it is the smartest solution. The child or adolescent says to himself: "I don't go into a terrain that I don't know how to manage." But what may initially be a solution to avoid major problems turns out to be counterproductive in the long run.
Biology seems to tell us that before being thinking beings we are sentient beings, that is, we are excited. And so, how can it be a good idea to totally ignore a part that is written in our nature and that, whether we want it or not, will continue to affect our life forever?
Expressing emotions helps you feel better: the facilitators of emotional expression
Knowing the strategies for expressing emotions adequately results in a series of positive changes in different areas. Below we present some ways to improve emotional management and, therefore, emotional intelligence.
Knowing how to express emotions will offer benefits in different areas of life.
Catarsi
When emotions are expressed, a controlled release of energy is achieved. The word "catharsis" means purification and, in this case, as we read in Aristotle's Poetics, it is an emotional, bodily, mental and spiritual purification.
Accumulating negative emotions is a burden that makes us feel angry, bitter, and which feeds desires for revenge; sooner or later it will also negatively affect our mental and physical health.
Expressing emotions helps to achieve inner peace
Getting rid of negative burdens gives us the opportunity to undo the damage and find inner peace. It helps us to achieve a state of mental and spiritual tranquility, where lived experiences are observed and understood with detachment. In this way, our resilience, or the ability to emerge stronger from adversity, will be increasingly developed.
Inner peace is the foundation for developing a feeling of happiness and fullness, and this is only possible when we are sincere with ourselves and express our emotions adequately.
Emotional well-being
Inner peace is one of the ideal conditions to approach that feeling of emotional well-being that we have all tried at least once in our life. We are talking about that state in which it seems that our frequency and that of the world around us resonate on the same frequency. We reach a perspective from which we can identify a certain order that we like.
"The more we are open to our feelings, the more we will be able to read those of others."
-Daniel Goleman-
Respect for yourself
Emotions must be expressed in an assertive way, getting rid of dependence on the opinions of others. Recognizing what we feel, managing it properly and expressing it helps us to reclaim our rights, to set limits, to emotionally get closer to those we want, and so on. This means respecting ourselves and saving ourselves from the abuse or toxicity of others.
Expressing emotions helps achieve empowerment
When we express our emotions, we reach our inner world and this is how we will be in control of our emotional life.
When we are in tune with ourselves, with our desires and emotions, we are consistent. Reaching this level of consciousness allows us to face life and its constant changes with positivity, to advance and grow.
Reliability
In addition to being fundamental to our physical and emotional health, expressing our emotions correctly improves relationships with others. It allows us to have healthier relationships based on honesty, trust and respect.
When we show ourselves as we are, without fearing our emotions, we project a more authentic personality; this increases our credibility in the eyes of others.
Expressiveness is a door that opens up many possibilities. The two most important concern the social level: on the one hand, they facilitate the management of our emotional energy; on the other hand, it allows us to build relationships based on trust, in which it is possible to achieve intimacy and complicity. And now, are you ready to express your emotions?
