It's hard to get it all done when we have so much to do. It is normal to worry. We worry a lot and about many things. And for some strange reason, we think worrying is just what we need. How could we not worry about all the problems we face ?!
We believe that worrying is useful because it helps us solve problems. But worry is like a rocking chair: it gives us something to do, but it gets us nowhere.
How does worry affect the brain?
Worry is a state of cognitive overload, which particularly impacts our limbic system. The limbic system is a network of structures that influence our autonomic responses such as blood pressure, breathing and heart rate, although its primary function is emotional regulation.
Worries affect the functioning of the limbic system, causing a state of activation that prevents us from functioning normally. They act similar to when an emotional abduction occurs, so we stop thinking rationally.
Worries can cause us to fall into a cycle of negativity, in which one worry generates the next, dragging us into an ever deeper hole from which it will be increasingly difficult to get out.
This does not mean that we can eliminate the worries, but we must ensure that their impact is limited. We have to worry intelligently.
Area of concern vs. Area of influence
We usually spend a lot of time and effort reliving the psychological traumas and conflicting experiences of the past, things we can no longer change, but whose aura of worry extends to our present. We also spend a lot of time and energy fantasizing about the uncertain and potentially catastrophic future.
A balanced thinking would be what allows us to enjoy the good things that can happen to us and worry about the negative things. However, we usually look at the world through gray lenses and only worry about the worst possibilities. We limit ourselves to the area of concern.
The area of concern is a hazy space where we dedicate ourselves to fueling the worst possibilities, adding fuel to the fire of fear and anxiety. When we enter that area, we just react, imagining the worst possible scenarios.
If you spend a lot of time in the worry area, you will be wasting your energy, filling yourself with negative thoughts that not only affect your mood, but also become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The area of influence, on the other hand, is where we have the power to act, it's all in our power to change the circumstances we don't like. In this area we are proactive.
In this graphic representation we can see that as the area of concern grows, the area of influence decreases as we become reactive and unable to act. Conversely, to the extent that we are proactive and take action, the area of concern decreases. The key is learning to move from the area of concern to the area of influence, the area over which we truly have power.
Technique of the postponed concern area
- Establish a deferred area of concern
This technique consists of choosing a time of day when you can give free rein to your worries. It is also important to limit the time you will spend on those worries, so that you don't run the risk of them taking control and settling in your mind. This will be your deferred area of concern.
- Send concerns to that area
Whenever a worry assails you during the day, stop that thought and send it back to the deferred area of concern. The goal is not to forget the worry, but to return to it at the appropriate time. Everything has a time and a place, and worries aren't welcome when you're having fun or while you're working.
When a worry assails you, write it down and rank it 1 to 5, depending on how emotionally upset you are or how much it might affect you. The goal of transcribing it is also to reduce its emotional impact and go beyond the worry to analyze its possible real impact.
Once the concern is registered, simply continue with what you were doing. It will be complicated at first, but as you practice, it will become easier and easier for you to control those thoughts.
- Get into your deferred area of concern
Now is the time to worry. Check your notes and see how worried you feel. Go back to the assessment you gave to each concern at the time it arose. Many of these may not seem so important to you anymore.
Choose the most important concerns and reflect on them. Ask yourself what the chances are that what is bothering you can actually happen and what impact it would have on your life. Remember that worries are often just a mental picture of the worst possible scenarios.
So, try to come up with a plan to eliminate this worry. What can you do to reduce uncertainty? What degree of objective control do you have over the circumstances that worry you? What is your objective leeway? What action plan can you implement to minimize the risks?
You need to move from the area of concern to the area of influence, where you have more control and can take a proactive attitude.
With this technique you will achieve three goals:
- Reduce the amount of worries and the time you spend on them
- Reduce the intensity of worries and their emotional impact
- Create a healthy habit of managing worries
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