Self-esteem is not immutable. In fact, it is profoundly influenced by many factors that we deal with every day. This means that if we have a healthy self-esteem, it is important to stay alert and protect it, because in our daily life we ​​come across a lot of junk and a lot of emotional vampires that can tear the perception we have of ourselves.
Learn to say "no"
Sometimes we struggle to refuse to do a favor, especially if we have a special relationship with the person who asks for it, but sometimes refusing is the only way to protect ourselves. We must not confuse the need to protect our time, space and identity with pride and arrogance. Saying "no" simply means that now or in the future, we won't be able to meet someone's needs because we don't have time or because it goes against our principles.
In reality, saying "no" also implies marking the boundaries of our identity so that others learn to understand how far they can go. If we do not set certain limits, people will take advantage to fill us with tasks that will then make us feel bad, lead us to make mistakes and doubt our abilities, and consequently our self-esteem will decrease.
Therefore, an easy way to protect our self-esteem is to deny yourself when you don't want to do a certain thing.
Some people are expert manipulators. They dig deep, find our weaknesses and decide to take advantage of them, especially by focusing on the sense of guilt. No one is immune to these attacks so that the first step is to learn to recognize them, and to do this you must first know yourself.We all have a scale of values, there are things we don't like and don't accept, like lies, contempt or hypocrisy. It is important that you have a clear understanding of your scale of values, that you know each other, because only in this way will it be possible for you to establish your limits and entrench yourself. Of course, it's not about not wanting to hear reasons, but about defending your points of view and the freedom to act.Remember that manipulators always try to belittle your ideas and, by dint of listening to them, you would probably end up thinking like them by losing. confidence in yourself and in your potential. So when you think you are in a situation where the other person is not treating you with the respect you deserve, stop immediately with a polite: "Thanks for the information, but I don't share your point of view." you are satisfied, react. If you feel stuck, find a way out. But never allow other people to undermine your self-esteem. You owe it to yourself.Learn how to defend yourself against manipulators by learning to recognize and manage them by reading this book.
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