Has it ever happened to you to feel frustrated and to have exclaimed from the depths of yourselves: life is not fair !? Probably yes. To the nice character of a satirical comic who has just been struck by lightning and who desperately cursing asks the sky: "why me?" heaven in the guise of God promptly replies: "and why not?"
What is certain is that most of us struggle for a good part of our lives trying to accept that life is not always based on what we consider "right". Sometimes we don't understand why people don't get what they deserve (or what we believe they deserve, which isn't the same). We expect that if someone behaves badly they will be chastised and if someone is good, they will be rewarded. But life doesn't work out that simple. Sometimes the equation applies this way, sometimes it doesn't.
Then it is difficult for us to accept reality, because we want to delude ourselves that everything follows simple rules. In other words, the equation: bad deeds = punishment, good deeds = reward, gives us a feeling of control and security since we so roughly know what consequences we will face depending on our behavior. These equations make us feel safer and more confident but when we find that they don't always apply, we feel very disappointed and frustrated.
Of course, this is not to say that people who try hard don't get a reward. For example, if you exercise every day and follow a healthy diet, you will help to minimize (at least statistically speaking) the risk of developing many diseases, even fatal ones.
But this is no guarantee that we will never get sick, as there are other determinants, such as genetic inheritance and environmental pollution, that we cannot control. In summary, the linear equations mentioned above can be applied and, if we live by following their logic, we will have good opportunities to obtain benefits or, conversely, find ourselves in problems. But it's not always like this!
The curious part is given is in the fact that we do not rejoice when we get up and it is a beautiful and sunny day or when they give us a pay raise, we only consider that life is not right when something is wrong "right" according to us, but we hardly ever take the opportunity to enjoy happy moments in which life goes well and gives us satisfaction.
By this I mean that there are people who tend to constantly emphasize the unjust side of life by minimizing its positive aspects, thus creating a path of permanent unhappiness. For example, if we go out for a walk and it starts raining, we shouldn't immediately think: why is this happening to me now?
It is actually raining for everyone, rain or no rain whether we like it or not, this is something we cannot control. Finally, it is useless to ask ourselves if it is more or less right that the day we have chosen for a walk is rainy. In this case, instead of ruining our day, we should simply choose to do other equally enjoyable things or maybe just go out with an umbrella.
In summary, thoughts such as: "life is not fair" and "because it's me" are sometimes forms that simply make us take a defeatist attitude excessively conditioned by external agents that, not being able to change them, make life less pleasant. So what's the advice?
We always go out with an umbrella (at least in winter), we live every minute of life as if it were the last, we take life as it comes and, we try to get the best out of every situation.
- 3