“One does not light up by imagining figures of light, but by making darkness aware,” wrote Carl Jung. But discovering and accepting our shadows requires hard mental work that many people don't want - or can't - do because they lack the necessary psychological tools.
Those people often end up casting their shadows on others. The inability to deal with certain aspects of one's personality or life generates anguish and helplessness. Consequently, when they feel overwhelmed by circumstances or their "I" feels threatened by inadmissible internal shadows, they put in place defense mechanisms such as projection to protect themselves from distress and avoid suffering.
Projection as a defense mechanism
Projection is a defensive behavior that protects our "I" by channeling to others those feelings, motivations or impulses that are unacceptable to us. When we believe that certain thoughts, feelings, impulses or behaviors are negative and do not fit our image of ourselves - because they make us a rude, unworthy, inferior or bad person - denying their existence is a way to avoid dissonance. cognitive impairment and the discomfort they can generate.
The concept of projection in psychology comes from Freud, who first referred to this mechanism in a letter from 1895. In it he described a patient who avoided addressing her feelings of shame by imagining her neighbors gossiping about her. In this way she safeguarded her image of herself and did not have to look for the real reason for her shame.
Later, Carl Jung and Marie-Louise von Franz overturned the theory of psychological projection as a mere mechanism to protect our ego. They argued that projection is also used to protect us from fear of the unknown. According to these psychoanalysts, when we do not understand some things - ours or the world - we tend to project archetypal ideas as part of our natural response to the desire for the world to be a more predictable, controllable, and orderly place.
Either way, when we project our feelings onto another person, what we do is evade our scariest emotions. The act of projecting thus becomes a distraction that allows us to ignore the real culprit, the internal problem that arises from the inability to manage these inconsistencies and shadows with maturity.
Examples of psychological projection in everyday life
Projection is a fairly common mechanism in everyday life because when a person doesn't have the confidence and maturity to accept those parts of themselves they don't like, it's much easier for them to point the finger at someone and move those parts of themselves. unpleasant feelings.
Thus, psychological projection can occur in a wide variety of contexts, both as an isolated incident and as a pattern that repeats itself regularly in a relationship. Usually this mechanism is activated to avoid exploring the underlying feelings. For example, a person may accuse us of being selfish or being angry when in reality they are being selfish or angry.
She may also accuse us of being disloyal to mask her disloyalty or fear of abandonment on the basis of the belief that she is not good enough or lovable enough. In fact, in relationships, psychological projection is a mechanism that is often activated. Jealousy with baseless accusations of infidelity, for example, can hide that the person is attracted to someone else and, instead of admitting it, accuse their partner by projecting their impulses and desires onto him or her.
People with narcissistic or manipulative tendencies also often resort to projection. These people may complain that we always ask for attention or claim that we continually put our needs first when in reality they are the ones who do this. It also happens that they blame us for what went wrong for not taking their responsibility, so as to project shame or inability onto us.
The screening is "today's bread and tomorrow's hunger"
Projection favors no one, neither those who cast their shadows nor those who become their receptacles.
The person on whom the shadows are cast runs the risk of becoming a kind of "emotional keeper" or, at worst, a scapegoat. If they are emotionally hypersensitive people, they are likely to act as "emotional sponges" by absorbing any anger, shame, sadness or anxiety that others cannot handle. As a result, they will carry the guilt of others on their shoulders, a burden that in the long run will be too heavy and will eventually weaken their psychological balance.
It is not uncommon, in fact, that, as a consequence of a continuous projection, we end up assuming the guilt, insecurities and negative traits of others, incorporating them into our identity. For example, a parent who has not been able to pursue a successful career might say to their child, "You're not going anywhere" or "Don't even try." By projecting his or her insecurities onto the child, the child may internalize the message, believe that he or she will never succeed and therefore will not even try.
Even the person who projects does not come out unscathed. It is true that defense mechanisms are a strategy to change the way we interpret a situation or the way we feel about it, but they do not change reality. In fact, keeping unacceptable feelings and impulses out of our consciousness results in an extremely vulnerable "false self".
As Jung said, “what you deny submits to you. What you accept transforms you ”. We have to accept the shadows to grow. If we don't, if we continually project our insecurities onto others, the price of that protection will be the inability to build resilience and mature.
While psychological projection preserves our self-esteem by making difficult emotions more tolerable, that protective shield is actually very weak and can end up breaking when we least expect it.
How to identify the psychological projection?
Pinpointing the projection isn't always easy, but an important clue is usually an unusually strong and disproportionate emotional reaction. When we sense that we are overreacting - or that someone is overreacting - it is possible that we are projecting our insecurities.
In a relationship, projection is noticeable because conflicts are not resolved. The same discussion is repeated several times, falling into an infinite vicious circle, because one party does not recognize its responsibility, but continually projects it onto the other. By projecting guilt onto someone who can't handle it, the cycle feeds on itself.
Another sign that unmasks the projection is when we feel upset, irritated or angry with someone, but we are unable to understand where that feeling is coming from or what behavior originated it. Usually, we have identified in that person - unconsciously - a characteristic of ours that we refuse to recognize.
Stop the projection mechanism
When we locate the projection, the best thing is to take a step back. If we are the ones projecting, we must move away from the conflict to take a psychological distance from the situation that oppresses and anguishes us. So we can think more rationally.
In that case, we need to analyze the conflict by trying to focus only on the facts. So we will have to explore the feelings it generated and the reactions it triggered in us, from the emotions experienced to the thoughts that came to our mind. Is there anything bothering us? Any feelings or ideas that we quickly dismissed? This is where we need to focus our attention. We must ask ourselves what it really means to us and why we cannot accept it.
In case someone tries to cast their shadows on us, the best thing to do is to establish a barrier that prevents us from introjecting those fears, insecurities and feelings of guilt. We can clearly answer: "I disagree with you" or "I don't see it that way." So we can deflect the projection and hopefully even motivate that person to reflect on his or her perspective in order to take the responsibility that corresponds to him.
