Most of the elements that frighten us do not represent a real threat or, at least, such as to make us run away. Today we are talking about a very familiar fear: the fear of taking the leap.
Last update: December 16, 2019
Fear is a useful emotion. It accompanies us from birth and guarantees us survival in the real world. At the same time, however, we don't live in the forest alongside ferocious predators. Most of the elements that frighten us do not represent a real threat or, at least, such as to make us run away. Today we are talking about a very familiar fear: the fear of taking the leap.
We speak of a physiological reaction to real danger and threat, but it can become a maladaptive response if it arises in a situation that has ceased to be dangerous, although it has been in our past.
Fear, therefore, becomes inadequate and harmful when, instead of "saving us", it blocks us in a circumstance with no potential risk. Think, for example, of the fear of speaking in public. Is our life in danger? Are we in danger of dying? Certainly not. Our body, however, reacts as if it were.
If the fear of taking the leap prevents us from growing
So-called maladaptive fear is also normal. The human being experiences many fears, such as becoming poor, losing a partner or a social position. But even these situations often do not hide a real threat or, again, there is no proportion between the risk taken and the intensity of the emotion that is produced.
The fear of making the leap is one of those fears that exist only in our mind and that never translate into reality. It is so incapacitating that instead of leading the life we ​​would like, it forces us to get bogged down and turns us off with the passage of time.
Often the fear of change is strongly conditioned by the expectations of our environment. Maybe our parents would like to see us settled in a nice house, but our secret dream is to buy a camper and go around the world. This sense of expectation keeps us constantly in doubt, eager to take the step, but with our feet stuck.
Because no one can know for you. Nobody can grow up for you. Nobody can search for you. And no one can do for you what you yourself have to do. Existence does not admit representatives.
- Jorge Bucay -
Do you live your life or the one that others have decided for you?
Often the most important steps in life are retraced in the psychologist's chair. The studies, the meeting with the partner, the stable job, the children ... And if the aspirations lead us in another direction?
This happens almost imperceptibly. Generally no one tells us clearly "do this". We are the ones who orient ourselves towards some choices and not others, depending on how others see us.
It may happen, for example, that you want a certain course of study or a job other than your own, but others admire us for what we are doing ... These are images that resonate within us and that drive our decisions.
Risk or stagnate
Faced with the fear of making the leap, we have two options: risk or stagnate. If we leave our parents' home, we may not be able to see them as much as we want. If we change jobs, perhaps we will find a stimulating environment.
Either way, this means learning and stepping out of our comfort zone. If we give it up, we will live by repeating ourselves “what if…”. It is a painful "if", a doubt that blocks us and prevents us from growing, from experimenting. Ultimately, to live. As Voltaire said: "Whoever lives prudently lives sadly".
The feeling of being stuck is illusory because, in reality, there are fewer obstacles than we see. This does not mean that there are no real limits or problems, but it is always possible to move forward.
If we don't try, anxiety will be more and more present, increasing our feeling of not having a direction to point to. But even this is not true.
