What emotions govern the unfaithful person? In this article we analyze the emotional universe of the person that we usually identify as the culprit.
Last update: June 09, 2022
In case of betrayal, we tend to focus on the emotions that the one who has been betrayed feels: disappointment, sadness, anger, loss of trust, etc. However, we never or rarely think about the feelings of the unfaithful person.
This is so because, in the absence of knowing other details, we may think that he deserves that suffering or that it doesn't even exist. As if we erase her from the emotional equation, as if our minds identify her as an aggressor.
However, the truth is that mixed feelings of the unfaithful person often exceed his capacity for affective management, making the other feel confused and helpless.
Due to this confusion, the simpler decisions become complex to make, as they are shrouded in lies and truths that generate greater inner conflict.
How can an unfaithful person feel?
The reaction of an unfaithful person depends on the values, beliefs, personality and motivations he possesses. For those who don't care about commitment and respect in a relationship, it's unlikely to experience conflicting emotions during and after the betrayal.
On the other hand, guilt, remorse and anger can manifest when the partner is important. These emotions can manifest themselves after the betrayal or only when it is discovered.
Each person experiences their infidelity in a particular way. Some do not feel guilty for what they have done, while others do.
There is no standard emotional reaction; however, in the following lines we will expose some feelings of the unfaithful person.
1. Anxiety
The tension between deception and truth often triggers an inner conflict in the unfaithful person, especially when he believes in values ​​such as trust and mutual respect.
He may feel anxious about what he has done, as the core values ​​of his existence are threatened. The consequences of his actions appear in his mind: accusation, condemnation and social and family rejection, loss of partner and family, etc.
2. Gioia
The feelings of the unfaithful person can affect the opposite pole. There are those who feel alive thanks to an adventure outside the relationship. The adrenaline gives the feeling that their life has suddenly become exciting.
An unfaithful person, being euphoric and keeping his clandestine relationship hidden, ends up reasserting his self-esteem and ego by perceiving himself as an individual capable of the impossible.
3. Guilt
Guilt can be accompanied by anxiety as well stress, constituting one of the strongest emotions in case of betrayal.
It intensifies when infidelity causes unexpected emotional damage in the partner (pain, disappointment, sadness, anger), in the relationship (emotional distance, loss of trust, quarrels) or in the family (anger and disappointment in children, divorce, etc.).
4. Delusions of greatness
The unfaithful person feels great e builds self-esteem by feeling wanted by someone other than your partner.
Being loved by two or more people and feeling object of the desire of others increases the sense of greatness, makes you feel precious and important.
5. Boredom among the feelings of the unfaithful person
The unfaithful person gets bored of the monotony, of always doing the same things with the partner. He tries to break the daily routine with something he finds exciting and fun.
For some, the girl is one of the most common reasons so they decide to have a clandestine relationship. However, over time they may get bored of their lover too and look for another one to add excitement to their life.
6. Fear between the feelings of the unfaithful person
Among the feelings of the unfaithful person there is often fear. She lives in constant fear of being discovered and that her exciting and fun adventure may end.
Fear is a basic emotion that signals the risk of a loss that threatens the extinction of what is appreciated (Van Deurzen & Adams, 2016).
7. Sadness
The feelings of an unfaithful person can be marked by deep sadness, both for the very act of betraying the partner and for having disappointed the expectations of others and their own.
Sadness appears like that emotion that announces that something precious for existence has been lost: the relationship, the affection of the other, trust, love, etc.
8. Frustration between the feelings of the unfaithful person
It is possible that the unfaithful person may feel a certain frustration because it is not possible for them to carry out certain projects with their lover, because they do not want to be discovered or because they do not have time.
Likewise, he usually must always act secretly and cautiously. Frustration is a feeling that arises from constant obstacles.
Conclusions
Infidelity is not easy to bear, and in the long run it ends up conditioning the life of all those who participate directly or indirectly in it.
Maintaining healthy communication in the couple is a factor that prevents these situations, as it allows to build solid values ​​that are shared and practiced by both. Likewise, it is necessary strengthen the relationship, cultivate passion, commitment and love.
