We make dozens or hundreds of decisions every day. Most are more or less irrelevant, like deciding what we will eat for breakfast or how we will dress. But there are also decisions that can change our life, making us more or less happy.
The way of making decisions varies from person to person. There are those who are very meticulous and write a list of pros and cons, weighing every detail. Others are more visceral, they decide led by Intuitive Intelligence.
But regardless of the method we use to make decisions there is a question we should always ask ourselves: will it be good for my sanity?
Emotional chasm: the risk of not prioritizing your well-being
Everything we do - and don't do - has a direct impact on our mental health. Every decision we make - and don't make - defines us. Every day we have the opportunity to make decisions that can contribute to our emotional well-being or, on the contrary, destabilize it.
But we are rarely aware of the impact of these decisions, we seldom pause to reflect on the level of stress, happiness, well-being or frustration generated by the small and big decisions we make.
By neglecting our well-being, we run the risk of making a series of "bad" decisions that will have a cumulative effect and will deteriorate our emotional balance, to the point of destroying it. As a result, we may fall into a spiral of self-destructive decisions that will generate more and more stress, frustration, anger or resentment.
One decision leads to the other, almost without realizing it, by inertia, as we slide - slowly but surely - into an abyss that leads us to touch the bottom emotionally, without knowing very well how we got there.
Why don't we usually prioritize our psychological well-being? There are several reasons:
1. Because they haven't taught us to prioritize our emotional balance. Because they hammered us with the message - completely wrong - that thinking of ourselves is selfish.
2. Because we don't care enough about our psychological well-being. Perhaps because we assume - erroneously - that our emotional balance is bulletproof.
3. Out of habit, because we have been taught that there are other more important factors to consider, such as money or duty.
When the priorities are clear, the decisions are simple
Putting our mental health on the list of pros and cons when making a decision will greatly facilitate the process. It will prevent us from saying "yes" just because we feel guilty or because we believe that "we must" do so, when in reality that decision will make us feel bad, is incompatible with our needs and will unleash a completely unnecessary emotional tension.
Asking whether what we are about to do can improve our mental health is a kind of compass that serves as a guide for making from small daily decisions to larger and more complex ones. Will this new work project be good for my sanity? Will this relationship be good for my mental health? Will arguing to be right be good for my inner peace?
We have the right to worry about our emotional balance before making any kind of decisions. We should take the time to question all our daily habits, ask ourselves how they affect our mental health. We will thus discover the behaviors that are beneficial and those that we should change. What activities improve our emotional well-being? What makes us feel energized and happy? What makes us feel calm and relaxed?
These simple questions can mark a before and after in our life because they will help us prevent nervous breakdowns, avoid all those things that are draining us emotionally, and allow us to replace them with healthier habits that will make us feel fuller.
Of course, it's not about falling into extreme hedonism. There will be times when we will have to make difficult decisions that will generate tension. Sometimes, to achieve great goals or simply to help someone in need, we have to sacrifice a little peace and serenity. But these decisions shouldn't be taken lightly, automatically, they should be conscious decisions.
If so, we must ask ourselves, how much psychological well-being are we willing to sacrifice? Without ever losing sight of the fact that putting our mental health at the center and giving it the importance it deserves means taking care of ourselves and protecting ourselves. Because although we are not emotionally fragile, by dint of concessions and postponements, our mental health will suffer.
Remember that "we are not the product of our circumstances, we are the product of our decisions," as Steven Covey wrote.
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