“A widow had some young maids in her care whom she woke every day to the crowing of the cock to start work.
The young women, tired of the routine and the rhythm of work, decided to kill the rooster so that the widow would not wake them up so early, in fact they thought that waking up early was the cause of all their ills.
However, after their cowardly action, they realized that they had only aggravated their condition because from that moment on the widow began to wake them up when she heard the baker starting to work, well before the crowing of the cock ”.
This story offers us an important lesson: the cause of our problems is not always the first that crosses our mind, it is better to think carefully and not act rashly as we may aggravate the difficulties rather than solve them.
The cognitive biases that prevent you from finding the true cause of the problems
If we could easily find the cause of our problems it would be much easier to solve them without getting too stressed. In fact, when we ask ourselves the right questions we are already halfway to finding the solution. The problem is that we don't work with the same logic as a machine and we are often victims of cognitive biases that limit our vision.
- The selective perception. We do not see the world as it is, but as we are. This means that our dreams, hopes and expectations influence the meaning we attach to situations. As a result, we ignore a part of reality and focus on what we consider most comfortable. The problem is that in this way we will not be able to form a complete picture of the situation and we will not be able to have an objective vision that brings us closer to the solution.
- Confirmation bias. It is a tendency to favor information that confirms our assumptions and ideas, regardless of whether the information is true. Considering only what confirms our beliefs we do not generate a cognitive dissonance, so we are not forced to reconsider our position. Thus, sometimes we only see what we want to see.
- The denial of probability. It is more difficult for us to decide when we are unsure. Therefore, we tend to completely dismiss any possibility when it creates even more uncertainty, even if it might have been a good choice. In practice, we prefer to make decisions whose consequences we can foresee, rather than choosing an uncertain or unknown path.
- The prejudice of external responsibility. It is the tendency to evade our responsibility and blame others, so we relieve the stress that some decisions can generate. This bias also refers to our tendency to let others decide for us, in order not to have to bear the consequences of our actions. So, we don't delve into what we really want or what would be the best solution, but we let ourselves be carried away by the decisions and criteria of others.
How to find out the cause of the problems?
The human mind is very complex, often our emotions, beliefs and expectations play tricks and prevent us from seeing the real cause of the problem, which often lies within us. Indeed, some problems would cease to be so burdensome if only we were able to change our view of the situation or we could clearly see the cause.
1. Take your time. It is said that time fixes everything, in fact, it is a powerful ally that helps us to put things in perspective. So, when faced with a problem, it is best to relax by letting the emotions subside. Thus we can more clearly discern what is the cause and the most appropriate solution. Furthermore, during this time the unconscious continues to function and can also reveal very interesting things about ourselves, even through dreams. In fact, this is why when we have a problem we suffer more often from nightmares, many of which are key messages from the unconscious.
2. Be aware of your emotions. There is no need to get rid of emotions and delusions when analyzing a problem or making decisions. In fact, these can be very helpful and positively tip the scales towards what makes us feel best. But it is important to be aware of their influence, to understand to what extent they influence our judgment.
3. Find out what you are afraid of. Behind every problem that afflicts us there is almost always a fear. When something prevents us from sleeping it is because it generates fear, and fear is not a good counselor when it comes to looking for causes or making decisions. In fact, when the fear is very great we may even refuse to recognize it, so that the cause of the problem will remain in the shadows, hidden from our conscience. It is a defense mechanism by which we are protected, but which ultimately causes more harm than good. Therefore, to find the causes of a problem, we often have to embark on a journey of self-discovery. It is interesting to note that the moment we become aware of that fear we begin to free ourselves of its influence.
4. Simplify. Albert Einstein said: “Any idiot can complicate things; it takes a genius to simplify them ". When we have a problem we tend to complicate things even more, we have an exceptional talent for dramatization. However, to find the solution and the cause of the problem, you have to simplify it as much as possible. In reality, we should become a kind of gardener, who gradually separates all the branches that prevent us from seeing the trunk. In this process, it is important to be aware that most problems do not have a single cause, they always affect several factors. The key to resolving them is to focus on the root cause.
5. Open yourself to the possibilities. Problems tend to cloud our ideas, making us believe that there is only one possible way. However, if we open up to opportunities we discover that there are different paths, some can even help us get out of our comfort zone and grow as a person. Therefore, when faced with a problem, it is important to evaluate all the causes and possible solutions, even if at first they may seem far-fetched. A good strategy is to put ourselves in the place of others for a few minutes and ask ourselves what they would think or do, so it will be easier to open our minds.
