Why can't we express our emotions? If this happens often, read this article to find out the possible causes.
Last update: February 19, 2022
Why is it often difficult to express emotions? Have you ever asked yourself this question? Our emotional universe is not always easy to manage. There are people who are able to express and share their emotions with others without any effort. For others, however, it represents a challenge. For what reason?
In this article we will try to identify the possible causes that prevent us from expressing our emotions. We will also see what are the consequences of this emotional closure.
Why is expressing emotions complicated?
Have you ever wondered why some people find it very difficult to express their emotions? Before answering, let's try to define the term "emotion". Emotion is a complex phenomenon that concerns subjective experience and involves motor and physiological expressiveness.
Emotions, therefore, are complex responses that manifest themselves through our thoughts, desires and actions; they are not always easy to manage or understand. It is therefore logical that not all people know how to verbalize or express what they feel. The causes could be:
Emotional repression
Emotional repression is an avoidance strategy towards stressful events. It is also conceived as an inhibition of the affective response. In this sense, can emotional repression explain why expressing emotions is often difficult?
It is worth remembering that the emotional response can depend on several factors. One of these could be the inability to deal with events (internal and external).
Emotional repression, therefore, is in a certain way a coping strategy that can be temporary or permanent. We could therefore say that it is the "great cause" behind our difficulty in expressing emotions.
Lack of assertiveness
Another variable that could explain why it is difficult to express emotions is assertiveness. But what is assertiveness? According to Matson et al., 1980; Bornstein et al., 1977 and Romano and Bellack, 1980, cited by Caballo (1983), is a social skill.
Other authors, such as Alberti and Emmons (1978), give us a more specific definition defining it as "the conduct that allows a person to act on the basis of their main interests, defend themselves without inappropriate anxieties, easily express honest feelings or exercise personal rights. without violating those of others ".
Lack assertiveness can be an obstacle to emotional expression. Like many other skills, however, assertiveness can be improved and enhanced. For this purpose, psychotherapy is a good option, as are therapeutic groups whose goal is to improve social skills.
"When you say yes to someone, make sure you don't say no to yourself."
-Paulo Coelho-
Excessive shyness
Shyness also has various definitions. In the psychological field, authors such as Pilkonis (1977) have defined it as "the tendency to avoid social interactions and not to participate adequately in social events ".
We also know that shyness not only affects the way we relate to others, but also the ability to express our emotions.
Excessive shyness, therefore, could explain why expressing emotions is not a walk in the park. As with assertiveness, we can work on our shyness. We are referring, in fact, to a personality trait that is not always counterproductive if we learn to manage it.
"I was the most shy person in the world, but inside me I had a lion who didn't want to shut up."
-Ingrid Bergman-
The consequences of not expressing emotions
According to psychologist Angela Corona, repressing or hiding one's emotions can cause us to isolate ourselves from others. The doctor adds that not expressing emotions prevents feelings from flowing freely. This attitude can create an internal block.
Negative health effects
A 2019 study by the North American Menopause Society of 304 women found that not expressing your emotions can have negative effects on physical and mental health. In women, in particular, the risk of stroke increases.
Obviously, each case stands on its own and cannot be generalized. We believe, however, that it is important for everyone not only to express their emotional universe, but also to be able to manage and channel it. Ideally, each person can find the way that suits them best: art, literature, dance, etc.
"When I express what I think and feel, I free my mind and heal my body."
-Walter Rice-
