The year was 1992, when American psychologist Emmy Werner became interested in a special ability that only some people develop. Without delay, he decided to analyze 698 children living in Kauai, one of the Hawaiian Islands. All of these children had suffered financial hardship as they came from poor families but one third of them had fared even worse, because they had grown up in dysfunctional families. After 30 years, many of these grown-up children had developed various psychological and social problems, behaved aggressively, and were prone to crime; however, one in three children not only did not develop mental problems, but had also improved. his condition and had developed into an emotionally stable person. These children had become competent, trustworthy and unselfish.It was the first study conducted in the field of resilience, but it was not the only one, it was followed by several studies that showed the same thing: while some people succumb to adversity, others are strengthened and they grow up. The past can simply be a burden that we carry with us or, conversely, it can become a source of experience that pushes us to change for the better.
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Western mind is profoundly influenced by the law of cause and effect. It is a universal law, practically everyone knows it and automatically applies it whenever they think. According to this law, everything that happens in the present has its cause in the past. For example, if we have a cold it is because we caught a cold three days ago. If a person is depressed, it is because he has experienced certain situations that have generated this state. Thus, everything can be explained based on the past. But the truth is that a person can also get sick because there is something in the future that bothers him and he wants to avoid it. In this case, the body and mind are determined by the future, it is not the cause that determines the effect, but rather the goal.If we strictly follow the principle of cause and effect, we should assume that the past is stronger than us. , and inexorably determines our present. However, rather than assuming that some things exist simply because they have always existed, instead of continuing to search for answers in the past, sometimes we should look more to the future. This is a radical change of perspective that scares many, because in this As the future becomes the protagonist, it's about learning to focus on the goal rather than making excuses in the past to stay in the comfort zone. In this way, everything that you have been until now remains in the past and does not have to determine your present and your future.Of course, stopping thinking in terms of cause and effect does not mean that the past is erased, it continues to exist. , but we take away its power, we prevent it from controlling our future.
To understand the enormous influence of the past on our daily life just think about how we make decisions. When we find ourselves in a confused situation, the first thing we do is look to the past, looking for similar situations, to copy the answer already given.When we reach a bifurcation, in which we have to choose between two directions, left or right, the first thing we do is look back to the past, as if this were to show us the way. We do it every day, and every day we tend to choose the path we already know, the same one we followed yesterday, for simple inertia.It is true that in this way we are able to save time and resources, but, at the same time, adopt a solution from the past means limiting the universe of our abilities, it means staying in the comfort zone in which we feel safe, but thus we do not grow.When to help us choose we look into the past, we are simply confirming the world we already know. But if we have the courage to free ourselves from the influence of the past and choose something different, we have the ability to change, we are able to defy the odds and grow.
The past exists and has, in a sense, helped make you the person you are today. But that doesn't mean it should continue to affect your decisions and your life. The past has allowed you to gain experience, but you are not just your experience. In reality, we are much more than a story, because what really matters is the potential we have in our horizon. In fact, the true greatness of the children of Kauai lies in the fact that they have managed to realize that their childhood experiences they had no reason to determine their future. These children have not used their past as a model that determines their decisions, but they have turned it into a lever that stimulates them to build a better future.When you realize that the past does not have to be decisive in your future, when you learn to making decisions motivated by what you really want and not by what you believe you should do just because you did it this way yesterday opens up an almost infinite universe of possibilities before you. You just have to have the courage to explore it and bring out the best in yourself.
