In one way or another, we all let ourselves be influenced by the opinions of others. Social approval is important and we often use it as a compass to help us determine if we are on the right track or not.
But when we worry too much about what others think we fall into the error of living by their opinions and making decisions based on acceptance or rejection, rather than being guided by our wants and needs. Therefore, it is important to be on the lookout for signs that we have begun to worry too much about what others think.
How to recognize dependence on the opinions of others?
1. You tell lies or contradict yourself. If you change your mind just to try to fit into the group, you probably worry too much about what other people think and believe that they will not welcome your views, ideas and opinions. If you find that you lie often, pretend, and change your mind, you are probably looking for social acceptance.
2. You are afraid to say 'no'. Saying 'no' is a right, you have the right to refuse when you think someone is pushing the boundaries or you simply don't like something. If you often say 'yes' when you want to say 'no', chances are you are letting others influence you too much. In fact, from an early age they teach us to be complacent, but saying 'no' doesn't hurt anyone, it's simply a right.
3. Apologize even if it's not your fault. If you find yourself often apologizing for things that you have no responsibility or control over, you are probably taking on a guilt that does not belong to you. Apologizing is a sign of intelligence and empathy, but only when we have really made a mistake and are repentant.
4. You judge yourself through the eyes of others. If every time you do something you ask yourself what others will think, you probably have a self-esteem problem. If the comments of others are always present in your mind, to tell you what you must or must not do, it will be practically impossible for you to know what you really want.
5. Change your plans to please others. If you continually abandon your plans and give in to others, fear of rejection and social exclusion is likely to lurk within you. It is important to find a balance, because continually putting the needs of others before your own will force you to relegate yourself to a second level by making you choose a life that does not satisfy you.
6. Your emotional states fluctuate based on the feedback you receive. It is normal that when others praise us we feel happy, but if you live on a real emotional roller coaster that depends on the judgment of others you have a problem. It is important that you learn not to take the comments or criticisms of others as too personal.
7. You worry about saying the right thing at the right time. You worry too much about "lapses in tone", so that you often self-censor yourself, so you almost never share your ideas and opinions, for fear that others may disagree or that you may offend someone.
8. You try to please everyone. With some people we get in tune immediately, with others we don't. It is impossible to please everyone, so the desire to make a good impression and please everyone is only illusory and only serves to add unnecessary stress to life. In reality, by doing so you run the risk of transforming yourself into a social chameleon, which means that you will lose your identity.
9. You are obsessed with what other people think. Worrying about what others think is different from asking for approval. We all participate in this "mind game", but if you get to the point of being obsessed with what others think about you you have a big problem.
10. You have a hard time making decisions, even the smallest ones. Indecision is characteristic of people who are not self-confident enough, so they try to compensate for it with perfectionism. In this way, the fear of making mistakes can lead you to a real decision paralysis. You constantly think about everything that could go wrong and can't decide.
If you are one of those people who care a lot about the opinions of others or in recent times you have discovered that you are more dependent on the judgment of others, here you will find 10 phrases to stop worrying about what others think about you.
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