Unmasking a manipulator it's not always easy, above allbecause most of these people adopt such subtle tactics that there
they lead us to ask ourselves if we are paranoid, or they awaken a profound sense in us
of guilt. It is difficult to defend against manipulators when it comes to a close person, with whom we have
established emotional bonds, the partner for example, it is even more difficult to make us
I realize that we are being manipulated. in a couple relationship there should be no manipulation of any kind,
both people must make decisions together, each offering the
own opinion and respecting the opinions of both. When in a
relationship in a couple there is a manipulator, an imbalance of power is produced, one begins to feel a sense of guilt towards the partner and in the long run, the person who is manipulated will feel neglected and
trapped in a relationship that suffocates her and cancels her personality.
Therefore, it is best to spot the first signs of manipulation as soon as possible
to counter them in the bud. Only in this way can one advance towards one
stable and mature relationship.
What are the signs of manipulation?
1. It makes you feel guilty about everything. Manipulation almost always starts withthe sense of guilt. If your partner makes you feel guilty about all of the
your actions and decisions, even if you are not wrong, it probably is
trying to generate a sense of guilt in you. These people are specialists in turning any situation around
make you feel responsible. Also, in many cases, they cling to love, vi
they say they do it for your good. However, love has nothing to do with it
with blame, it does not equate to constant reproach and criticism. Therefore, this
relationship is not going well and does not make you feel happy and happy
satisfied.
2. He projects his insecurities onto you. Manipulators often project the
their insecurities about other people so they can control how they react to
these "weaknesses". For example, a person can tell you that since
since she has been duped in the past, she doesn't want you to go out alone with the
your friends. Thus, he projects his insecurities onto you and, by appealing
to your understanding, it restricts your freedom. Many manipulators apologize saying they are sorry for theirs
behavior, but that they were afraid of being abandoned. So
they get the partner to forgive their mistakes. However, let's keep that in mind
there is a fine line between consideration, understanding and manipulation
emotional. Don't let someone else put his on your back
insecurities.
3. It makes you question your abilities. A favorite strategy of the
manipulators is to take away from others the security and self-confidence
themselves. Once you have brought the person into your world
inner, will know your weaknesses and will not hesitate to use them against you
you, to undermine your self-esteem. This person always has the best of intentions,
but never misses an opportunity to point out your mistakes or say that
you could have done better, so it ends up convincing you that you are not good enough. At this point
takes the reins of the relationship and decides for you. Obviously, when you start a
give up, you lose all decision-making power, it is as if you put the reins of the
your life in his hands. However, remember that one of the functions of the
couple consists precisely in supporting each other, helping each other to grow
mutually.
4. He gives you responsibility for his emotions. Manipulators often act
in an ironic way; that is, they waste a lot of time trying to show you that they don't
you can think for yourself and therefore they make you responsible for their emotions. Like this,
if your partner is feeling sad or angry, it is likely to be to blame
yours because you have probably done something wrong. Of course, living on this emotional "roller coaster" is not healthy for
psychological balance. The manipulated person experiences the sensation of walking
on a fragile crystal, always on the point of breaking. Of course, a
relationship that makes you feel so bad is not worth living.
5. Makes you think you want what he / she wants. When a
couple relationship, it is normal that both of you have to change some of the
their habits to build a life together. But what is not normal is
that the needs and desires of one of the two people come completely
neglected. If only opinions are taken into account in a relationship
and the desires of a person, it is because the manipulation by one of the two
has been successful. Of course, this happens in a sneaky way, it is almost never enforced. The
manipulator is very adept at making believe that the best thing for both of them is
do what he / she wants. So if at some point in the relationship you do
realizes that your needs, dreams and plans are not being taken into account
consideration, perhaps the time has come to reconsider the relationship
couple.
PS Sometimes we tend to look very closely at the behavior of others,
without realizing that we too resort to manipulation, perhaps without it
realize it. So, for a relationship to work, both
partners need to be able to look within themselves and put those aside
behaviors that represent manipulation.
- 43Get Personal Growh
