Last update: 14 September, 2022
Conflicts trigger strong emotions, but also feelings of disappointment and malaise. When a conflict or argument is handled in an unhealthy way, it can lead to resentment and irreparable breakdowns. However, when handled right, understanding and trust increase, and bonds are strengthened. To deal with a conflict in the right way, it is essential to recognize your feelings and emotions so that you also understand your needs. If a person does not know his feelings and what is happening to him, it is very difficult to communicate with others and resolve the conflict.What does the ability to resolve a conflict depend on?
The ability to successfully resolve a conflict depends on the ability to control stress and emotions, to pay attention to the other and to be aware of and respectful of differences.
- Control your stress: if you are able to keep stress under control quickly, without ceasing to be attentive and calm, you will be able to accurately interpret the verbal and non-verbal communication of your interlocutor.
- Control emotions and behaviorIf you are able to maintain control of your emotions, you can communicate your needs without threatening or frightening (or physically or verbally attacking) others.
- Pay attentionOnly in this way will you be able to discover the feelings of others and hear what they are saying to you.
- Be aware of the differences and respect them: if you avoid disrespectful words and actions, you will be able to solve the problem faster.
How to manage and resolve a conflict: 6 simple tips
1. Pay attention and listen
When you listen, you connect with your own needs and emotions, as well as those of other people. Listening also strengthens you and helps you understand what is happening, as well as allowing others to listen to you.
2. The priority is to resolve the conflict and not to determine who is right
In discussions, it's not about winning or losing, but about keeping the relationship intact and moving forward. For this, it is essential to respect the other person and their point of view.
3. No hard feelings: what matters is the present
If you hold onto the resentment of the past, your ability to see reality will be compromised. If you want to move forward, you will need to focus in the present moment, here and now, and solve the problem instead of continuing to look to the past.
4. If you can avoid it, don't spark an argument
Resolving a conflict can be tiring, so do whatever it takes to avoid it if you really can, especially if it's a minor issue.
5. You must be willing to forgive
It is impossible to resolve a conflict if you are unwilling or unable to forgive. If you can't get rid of the need to punish the other, you can't really solve the problem, even if you come to an agreement or a truce.
6. Sometimes you have to let things pass by themselves
Sometimes it can happen that an agreement is not reached. However, "two people don't fight if one of them doesn't want to," so one option might be to let it go and move on, without letting the discussion become a matter of principle.
While this isn't always possible or recommended, glossing over small disagreements might be a good solution, so the conflict doesn't grow and it doesn't become something really important.
