Haste is bad advice when making a decision. This also applies to promises made in the name of love, before the couple's relationship is mature enough.
Last update: October 25, 2022
Loves that suddenly blossom and grow out of control, in a short time: we have seen them, maybe we have also lived them. Okay, it may be that Cupid has done his job very well and that we are faced with a great love that proves that from the beginning. But being in a hurry in love can lead to forging ahead, with disastrous consequences.
It happens above all to younger couples and to those later in life, who feel the weight of time on their shoulders, as if it were a sharp guillotine. They burn through the stages at a frightening speed and when they least expect it, the report already seems to have given it all. Haste leads them to experience the relationship in a single moment and, suddenly, of such an intense experience there are only ashes made of hatred and disinterest.
Falling in love causes hormonal and neuronal imbalance. A pleasant state that anyone would like to live forever. It is possible to extend it, in fact, when instead of rushing in love, you pull the brakes a little without. But when you drink it all in one gulp, the relationship is usually numbered.
The modern human being throws up many projects because he is in a hurry to see the end.
Hurry in love: the role of hormones
Hormones are the protagonists of the early stages of a couple relationship. The upheaval is such that many people literally feel drunk with love. This is the stage where the other person takes up every little thought. The heart stirs, the eyes sparkle and the butterflies in the stomach fly wildly as if someone had upset their peace.
There is no doubt that your partner is the love of your life. That cocktail of hormones that affects much of the brain chemistry it alters our judgment and our critical ability. Yes, love is blind or, at least, it is short-sighted in terms of logic.
Some couples make a serious mistake in this phase: the rush to live everything in a moment takes possession of their reasoning and leads them to trample on lands that belong to the future, and that they have not yet analyzed. Promises and oaths rain down; pacts and unlimited access to the life of the other. On the other hand, neither of us dares to step back, for fear that the other will do the same.
Make decisions lightly
Haste is bad advice when making important decisions. Some couples plan to have a child even though they have only been together for a few months. Or they take certain commitments without knowing the partner sufficiently, without having reached a stable complicity, without ever having had a discussion.
To consolidate a relationship, you need much more than a hormonal disruption. There is a need for communication, and much more. It is also important to allow time for mutual adaptation. As much as one feels like soul mates, it takes time for differences to emerge and peaceful mechanisms to be found to find solutions.
Haste does not show these differences. And if it does, it doesn't allow them to give you the importance they deserve. In the first phase, one is willing to accept everything, without any critical spirit. This happens because the target not declared at this stage is to identify as much as possible in the established bond.
The charm of the break
There are many people who are thirsty for intense experiences; they feel alive only when they momentarily lose their minds and surrender themselves without reserve to mask their daily problems. Witness the victory of your favorite team, go wild at a concert or feel the adrenaline of jumping with a parachute, for example. The first phase of love is one of these experiences.
It is wonderful to feel in love and to experience this feeling to the fullest. Yet, we must be aware of the fact that it is only a stage of the relationship and not of the relationship as such. The desire to make plans for the future will arise, perhaps to move in together and form a family unit.
However, we must keep in mind that everything that is born quickly dies just as quickly ... and there is no worse fall than the one that makes us wake up one morning realizing that having a stranger next to us with whom we have nothing in common.
Coexistence could make the initial mystery vanish, but being in a hurry in love does not give the relationship the time it needs to mature. So, at the first hurdle the relationship fades before it even blossoms. Let's reflect: measuring and taking breaks favors complicity and helps to take deeper roots in the ground, which will become hope and support at the same time.
