Can you really live without friends? Can this aspect have consequences on our psychological health? Nowadays there are many people who spend their days without a contact, a word of comfort and the friendship of someone. We talk about it in this space.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2022
Can you live without friends? Probably many of us could answer this question: “Of course you can! I do it, I have no friends and yet I am alive ”. Certainly no one is left without oxygen for lack of social ties, the heart does not stop nor do we dissolve in the wind because of it. But how do you live without friends? Do you feel a state of well-being or do you sometimes feel gripped by a pinch of emptiness?
In fact, no one has ever died because they did not even have a friend, but very often this experience is lived with sadness, disappointment and despair. Just consider that one of the most frequent reasons people resort to therapy is loneliness, the inability to establish solid social bonds and not having someone to talk to, laugh with and share the joys of life.
Humans are social beings and their brains need quality interactions with their peers, people with whom to experience positive emotions, to feel appreciated and to find refuge. As evolutionary psychology points out, having friends is not essential for our survival, but it makes life better and gives us the opportunity to experience moments of happiness from time to time.
Can you live without friends?
It is often said that the quality of our social relationships is nourished by the experiences lived in the family. This is not quite the case. There are those who have a traumatic past due to abusive parents or lack of affection, but nevertheless have a real family thanks to friends. Sometimes, on the other hand, the opposite happens: having a loving family is no guarantee of strong friendships.
Beyond that, no one can deny that good friends color life. Random encounters that, unlike the family, are not given to us. And almost without knowing how, friends turn into accomplices, into unexpected treasures that travel with us at certain times or, sometimes, forever.
There are friends who come and go, it's true. There are fake friendships and friendships that make us better people. Yet there are those who, because they lack social skills or have been disappointed in the past, he spends his life without these figures. The question that arises is therefore: can you live without friends?
You can live without friends, because we find ourselves in an increasingly individualistic society
Sure, you can live without friends. In fact, a research study conducted at the University of Arizona by Drs Melika Demir and Ingrid Davidson has shown an interesting aspect. It turned out that friendship is one of the variants that allow you to experience happiness; however, it is not the element that people consider most important.
The decisive aspect is the satisfaction of the most basic needs, as well as the feeling of being capable. Feeling independent, being able to meet our most basic needs, such as nutrition, having a job, a home and even a partner are stronger needs. Then another aspect is added, namely that of liquid relations.
As the philosopher and sociologist Zygmunt Bauman would say, society is increasingly individualistic. This makes relationships more fragile, unreliable, and even elusive. Friends come and go, they rarely last and even if this could trigger the detachment, there are those who get used to it.
I don't need friends, because I interact with a lot of people
People need to have access to social interaction every day, at least in its most basic form. Talking with work colleagues, having a conversation with neighbors, with the trusted baker… These are moments that make us feel good, to the point that many people don't need to go further. That is to say that they do not want or have no intention of consolidating the bonds so that they become real friendships.
This superficial interaction is enough for these people, who might say with certainty that indeed one can live without friends.
How much does it cost not to be able to count on solid friendships?
We have now found that you can live without friends. Many people don't enjoy these bonds for one reason or another and that's okay, they spend their days. But Does this aspect have a psychological cost?
Certainly each of us is a world unto itself and there are those who are satisfied with relationships with their families and with their partner. Others may even feel satisfied in their own loneliness. Yet it is neither normal nor advisable.
There is another fact that we should take into account: suicides are increasingly common in this individualistic society made up of fragile relationships. Having no friends doesn't kill us in itself, but it makes life more difficult.
People need real friends, people they can trust to create spaces that nourish them emotionally. Friendship enriches existence, gives it meaning and offers support that so strongly affects mental health.
The absence of this dimension creates gaps and wounds in which lack of affection and loneliness navigate, which attach themselves to us in a painful way and deform our reality. Let's not deprive ourselves of affection, let's look for people with whom to share passions and moments, grow, laugh… The benefits are immense.
