Emotional abandonment in couples is a common reality that can be devastating. In this article we analyze the different circumstances that favor it.
Last update: July 10, 2022
Emotional abandonment in the couple often goes unnoticed, because it hides behind everyday life and everyday commitments. A form of estrangement is normal, especially when the relationship has been going on for years, however, when one of the members of the couple stops caring for the other, the matter becomes more serious.
We all know that the enthusiasm of falling in love is fleeting and that later calmer moments arrive, in which it is logical to disagree. We are not saying that one person has to take charge of the other, but emotional abandonment in the couple is another thing. It means that the relationship has become a source of suffering for one of the two.
Don't abandon your boat to the sea of ​​luck, keep rowing, but row without shame and don't stop thinking.
-Augusto Platen Hallermunde-
In case of emotional abandonment in the couple, the relationship is on the verge of entering "intensive care". Nothing can replace that emotional pleasure that comes from being important to the other. But how do we know if our relationship is at this point?
Emotional abandonment in the couple
First we must clarify what is meant by emotional abandonment in the couple. This abandonment takes shape when one member is emotionally unavailable to the other.
This aspect manifests itself with indifference and a lack of empathy. In other words, there is a lack of expressions of affection towards the partner and also the interest or the predisposition to understand their reality. The latter includes his feelings, his problems, his successes, etc.
Emotional abandonment, to be considered as such, must manifest itself for a relatively long period of time. Sometimes the partner is absent from the relationship as a result of some difficulties or a particular situation. In these cases, it is sufficient to overcome a situation or engage in a dialogue to prevent it from happening again.
In case of emotional abandonment of the couple, the physical and / or emotional absence of the other becomes chronic. This can be devastating for the other person, especially since the neglect of the partner very often refuses to say what they are doing.
Signs of abandonment
There are several signs that indicate emotional abandonment in the couple. Most of the time they are not too obvious. Rather, it is a question of attitudes that, if occasional, pass without leaving signs, but which, if repeated over time, represent a painful reality. The main signs of emotional abandonment in the couple are:
- Talk only about this and that and only in passing. He does not sit down to chat, even if his partner would like to.
- When the couple is reunited with other people, they ignore the partner to dedicate themselves to talking to the others.
- One does not respond to the other's expressions of affection or it does so with an obvious lack of interest.
- He knows very little about the other's life, although he shows interest in receiving information about it.
- The partner feels that he cannot rely on the other if he has difficulties. When he talks about it, the other does not show any interest or participate in the partner's ideas, proposals or expressions of affection.
- The partner feels deeply alone despite being in a relationship.
A lost cause?
Contrary to what one might think, emotional abandonment is not always a symptom of a lack of love. Nor is it necessarily true that this is due to the presence of a third person or a relationship now at the end of the line. In many cases psychological factors come into play that affect the situation.
Many people do not have the psychological resources necessary to build a true bond of intimacy in the couple. Indeed, the more they care about someone, the quicker they will raise barriers and try to isolate themselves.
They do it as a defense mechanism, because in their past there are traumas that have never been elaborated or a strong lack of self-esteem prevails. They are convinced that they will be hurt or abandoned, which is why they abandon them first.
It could also be that abandonment is a form of revenge against a difficulty of the past which has not been fully resolved between the two. Either the duties are simply so suffocating or the working life is so frustrating that you don't find room for your partner, because you feel tired or lacking in emotional resources.
If you find yourself in a situation of emotional abandonment within the couple, the important thing is not to rush to conclusions. Try to give an objective assessment of what is happening and to point out the situation to the partner, with love and without being biased.
