Due to different social and religious influences, there is an extreme genitalization of sexual intercourse.
Last update: May 01, 2022
Due to different social and religious influences, there is an extreme genitalization of sexual intercourse. This causes excessive protagonism to be given to penetration and many other equally pleasant practices are neglected.
If we asked several people what they mean by sexual intercourse, most would respond in the same way, which is that they consist of penetration. And specifically, implicitly, in vaginal penetration. If we asked the same question in almost every country in the world, surely the answer would be the same.
But why? What causes people to associate sexual intercourse with vaginal penetration? The answer is that extreme genitalization occurs. Let's deepen.
Sexual intercourse, erotic intercourse or genital intercourse?
If we remember the origin of the word "sex", it alludes to our condition as sexual beings. That means, it concerns our sexual identity more than any other meaning.
From this perspective, talking about sexual intercourse would embrace a very wide range of behaviors.
If we stick to the literal meaning of "sexual intercourse", we would refer to any relationship that consists of the interaction between two people in the quality of being sexual (holding hands, talking, hugging, kissing…).
However, if we rethink the term and transform it into "erotic relationships", everything has a different meaning.
Etymologically, the "sexual" does not refer (only) to what happens in intimacy. But, as pointed out, it alludes more to the notion of sexual identity.
The same Eros present in the prefix of "erotic" confers a component of intimacy, yearning and desire to relationships. Let's not forget that Eros, the god of Greek mythology, was responsible for the sexual attraction. His Roman equivalent is Cupid.
Well, even reformulating the concept, we still continue to associate it with an intimate interaction: penetration. Penetration-based relationships are not the culmination or goal of any intimate interaction.
If they were, perhaps it would be more logical to call them genital intercourse. And not sexual or erotic intercourse. Erotic relationships have so many nuances that it seems almost ridiculous to take only one of them into account.
Extreme genitalization and unrealistic expectations
Ideas about intimate relationships are tainted by various social influences. Cinema or television have taught us that the genitals are the only source of real pleasure.
Surely, porn has accentuated the extreme genitalization of erotic intercourse. It presents certain dynamics, times, ways, dimensions and behaviors that are not, in absolute terms, representative of what happens in reality.
If we allow ourselves to be influenced, we will most likely experience intimate relationships with frustration.
When the genitals "disappoint", everything disappoints
The genitals, both male and female, can be disappointing. In different ways, for different causes, but they can disappoint.
Beyond the causes and situations, what happens if they disappoint? Is the erotic relationship interrupted? Our erotic relationships are so fragile that they depend only on the genitals? No, obviously not.
But the extreme genitalization of sexual relations, coupled with popular belief, say yes. This produces a series of misunderstandings and difficulties.
Curious and sad, but frequent, the situation of the man who, before or during sexual intercourse, totally or partially loses his erection. Thus, her partner attributes it to a lack of erotic desire towards her.
This explains the oversizing of the genital response. Si places more value on genital behavior than on the manifestation of the person's desire or excitement.
We miss a lot of pleasant experiences
The price paid for overestimating sexual intercourse is very high. When we focus on just one erotic practice, we underestimate the rest.
By doing so, we preclude ourselves from experiencing unknown sensations that can cause us to experience pleasure equal to or even more intense than penetration.
Opening ourselves to different erotic behaviors, in fact, helps to improve the knowledge of ourselves and to enhance eros.
Furthermore, it is not true that men and women always like to have this type of relationship. Furthermore, it is untrue that we always need or always want to reach orgasm. Sometimes, we may need to get pleasure from different contexts through different interactions.
The ideal would be to reach a level of self-knowledge such as to enjoy all kinds of pleasure in erotic relationships. Regardless of intensity, duration or quality.
Adequate sex education should promote such self-knowledge so that people are more independent and free.
