In order for someone to open up to us, it is important to create a connection with that person. How can this be done? What gestures can help us? We tell you six.
Last update: 16 March, 2022
Is it possible to get someone to open up? How can we do it? Is it an easy or difficult task? We will explain it in this article, where we reflect on some of the most important values ​​when it comes to creating a connection with people. Interpersonal relationships based on trust, for example, are those in which, more likely, there will appear moments in which it will be easier to express one's feelings freely.
There is no magic formula to get someone to open up. Also, there are people who express things they hear more easily than others. However, there are small actions that can bring us closer to this goal. Read on if you want to discover them!
Being honest with others, actively listening to them and not judging them are some of the first steps that can help us connect with people. And that connection, in fact, together with the fact that the other feels comfortable and confident about him, that it will make it easier for others to open up to us.
Be yourself
Authenticity requires authenticity. So if you want someone to open up to you, be yourself, be authentic. This will also make it easier for the other person to approach you, show themselves as he is and express what he feels.
This is achieved over time, with dedication and perseverance. Also, there are more introverted people who find it harder to open up to others. However, to see what we want in others, it is better to project just that (in this case, authenticity).
Practice active listening
Active listening has received more definitions. In a study by Hernández and Lesmes (2018), researchers define it as a "form of communication that conveys clear ideas without interrupting the receiver". When we actively listen to someone, we do so by paying attention to them and asking questions that we need to understand them better.
In a way, this can help the person to open up more to us. In relation to this, José Andrés Murillo (2012) is convinced that listening to others increases their trust in us. And the more confident they feel, the more likely they are to express what they feel.
Do not judge
When we judge someone (and that person feels judged), the chances of him opening up to us are drastically reduced. Because? Precisely because no one likes to be judged. It's like when we go to the psychologist: the goal is to open up to the therapist and tell them what he needs to know to help us.
What happens if we feel judged by the doctor? It will probably cost us twice as much to open up with him next time. Therefore, another key to getting someone to open up is to avoid judging them.
"If you want to judge my steps, put my shoes on."
-Anonymous-
Being empathetic to get someone to open up
Empathy is a quality, a capacity that allows us to put ourselves in the other's shoes. There it also allows you to feel what that person feels (or at least get closer to that feeling). It is a value that facilitates social communication and above all the fact that someone shows himself natural.
When we listen and treat others with empathy, they feel freer to express themselves, because they feel understood and supported. So if you want someone to open up to you, you will have to listen to him with your heart and put yourself in his shoes.
Find the right topic to start with
Another way to get someone to open up is to find a topic to start with. What do you mean? Find a topic that interests them or a topic that is not difficult to talk about. We should avoid sensitive or painful topics in the beginning (especially if we don't know that person well).
Through a first contact, a first conversation, we can get to know the other person, but like everything else it will take time. The best way to cultivate the trust others can place in us is make time for that person and start with topics that are more accessible or easier to tackle.
Take the initiative to get someone to open up
This idea can be especially helpful if you already know that it is difficult for that person to open up and express themselves. You will have to take the initiative, break the ice and above all direct the interaction, in short, take the reins of the situation. There are people who, in order to open up emotionally, really need the other to take the initiative.
You could start the conversation and, once the contact has been established, propose the topics, ask questions, but never in an invasive or intimidating way, but tactfully and little by little.
Getting someone to open up: a useful exercise
It's not easy to get someone to open up. To get it, we must act with respect and empathy, putting ourselves in the shoes of the other. Among the ideas discussed we also talked about the importance of not judging others, as doing so can be a great brake for the person who is opening up to us.
The more we feel free and not judged, the less it will cost us to open up to others, share, communicate, express ourselves. If you really want someone to open up and you don't know how to do it, start working on it, practice and ask yourself: How would I feel more comfortable expressing my feelings? In what kind of conversation and environment? With what kind of people? What would I expect the other to do?
