If you want to know how to win back an ex girlfriend who left you, who doesn't want you anymore, or maybe even who is with someone else, you've just come to the right place.
You are probably in a very delicate phase of your life, characterized by great pain and suffering. You don't understand why the girl you love so much has decided to break up with you, and you want to know if there is still a chance for you to win her back.
I know how you feel, since I too have found myself asking myself more than once how to win back a woman, and how to react and stand up after being dropped.
Initially I doubted that there could be a real "method" for win back an ex; on the contrary, I was convinced that it was almost impossible to reverse the situation in one's favor, and make a person change his mind about such a drastic and important choice.
Over the years I have had to change my mind !!
After much study and experience in the field, I discovered that the psychological and affective principles and patterns that underlie relationships are constantly repeated, and knowing them is possible. start exploiting them in your favor.
When one is left, there are attitudes that make the partner move further away, and there are others that they inevitably bring it back together and make her question her decision to leave you.
This does not mean that there is a magic formula to win back the ex, but with the right methods and a good dose of commitment it is possible to increase enormously your chances of success.
In this article I want to give you some important basics, which when I was in the same situation as you I would have paid gold to receive.
Okay, we're almost ready to go… but first I want to invite you to take a quick online test to see how likely you are to win back.
It only takes two minutes to complete - you'll need to answer 15 simple questions on your relationship with the ex, and you will instantly get a result expressed as a percentage. You can do it below:
Why did your ex break up with you?
We come to us: you want to know some techniques and strategies on how to win back an ex.
Well, the first thing to analyze is why he left you.
Without making too many unnecessary arguments, here I want to give you an answer that is valid for most of the cases. It is in fact the reason number one whereby a girl leaves a boyfriend, and your situation is very likely to fall into this case as well.
Let me be blunt: she left you because has lost interest to you.
This means that your ex girlfriend had begun to get bored with you, she no longer felt yours male energy, she did not feel aroused or stimulated by your relationship, she felt in full control and no longer felt the emotions necessary to continue being with you.
Maybe you had become a bit predictable and you were spinning your life around her a little too much.
Don't blame yourself: it happens to everyone at least once in their life! The important thing is to realize this and implement a strategy based on this new awareness.
If you are still not convinced that the cause of his estrangement is the loss of interest, I invite you to check if your situation falls into one of the following:
- He told you that you are too different and things won't work out
- He prefers that stay friends
- He told you there was no "spark" between you
- He left you for another
- He told you he doesn't deserve you
- He told you that he doesn't love you anymore
- He needs a pause to reflect
- She is confused about her feelings
- It needs its spaces
- He told you that he no longer knows what he wants from life
- He told you he no longer feels the passion of the early days
In all these cases, the reason he left you is the loss of interest, the lack of emotion.
There are also other reasons that cause the end of a relationship: for example, if you have betrayed, hurt or in some way disappointed your ex with your behavior. I talk about it in more depth in another article on my blog, in which I explain how to win back a disappointed girl.
However, in the vast majority of cases, at least a small component of the loss of interest and lack of emotion on the part of the person leaving is always there.
A girl madly in love he would generally never leave you, right?
Well, in this article we are going to see how to win back an ex who has lost interest in you.
The mistakes that don't make you win back your ex
Soon I will explain how to win back an ex girlfriend who doesn't want you anymore, so the method you will have to follow step by step, but first I want to talk to you about 5 errors which many automatically tend to commit after being left, and which practically eliminate the chances of reconquest.
If you realize that you are making some of these mistakes… eliminate them immediately!
1. Bug her
The most common and most wrong thing you can do right now is to continually search for your ex, texting her, calling her and asking her out.
You may think that if you insist a lot and show yourself very present you will be able to convince her to get back together, but the truth is that in this way you will turn into a doormat and you will only make her move further away from you!
She doesn't want you anymore because finds you boring, and feels in full control of the situation. If you are there waiting for her and always looking for her, she will feel even more in control, and she will lose interest in you even more. Stop chasing her!
2. Give her demonstrations
Another big mistake to avoid is giving your ex girlfriend big demonstrations, hoping to get her to change her mind in the name of your love.
When I say "give demonstrations" I mean giving gifts, giving flowers, saying how important she is to you, telling her you want to marry her and making promises of various kinds.
All this does not work, for one simple reason: what she lacked in your relationship is not the sense of stability and assurance, but the emotion and excitement.
By giving her guarantees and demonstrations you will not be able to make up for what is the real cause of the end of your relationship, on the contrary you will make things much worse. Trust me!
3. Whining
Whining, making scenes, being seen weak and fragile in front of the partner who is leaving us is an almost inevitable thing, I am aware of it.
Being left is a gigantic blow, and it's really hard to remain unmoved while this happens.
But you need to be aware that the more you whimper, the more she gets away from you.
When I say you don't have to whine, I'm also referring to the painful posts on social networks, in which you try to indirectly prove to her that without her you are destroyed.
Every woman wants a real man by her side, who conveys male energy, security and determination to face the challenges that life places in front of him, even the most difficult.
You can't hope your girlfriend will come back with you out of pity. It will only do this when you have regained your masculine energy, and you will be able to make him feel it.
Wipe away your tears and get up on your feet!
4. Involve other people
The fourth mistake we analyze is to get other people in the middle.
After being left, you may have come up with the idea of seek allies that could help you get back with her, such as her friends, her parents, your mutual friends, or other people close to her.
Surely these people will pity you and maybe they will also be on your side, but do you really think they will be able to give you a hand to "make it think"? The truth is that pulling other people in between you will only complicate things and you will make her angry without getting anything.
By the way ... I advise you to immediately check your chances of winning back, which also partly depend on the mistakes you have already made in recent days with your ex.
5. Be in a hurry
The last mistake I want to tell you about is being in a hurry.
I will never tire of repeating it to you: you are not playing an easy game, and you will not be able to get back together tomorrow or next week (except in special cases). You have to be patient.
You have to start applying a strategy right away, but being aware that it may take a few weeks or months for the situation to resolve.
How to win back an ex: 7 steps to follow
Given the 5 mistakes not to make, we are finally ready to see together how to win back an ex girlfriend who left you and no longer wants you because she has lost interest. The strategy that I propose is divided into 7 points.
1. Short radio silence
The first thing you need to do is to stop any communication with her for a certain period.
This is the so-called no contact rule, to which I dedicate a good part of the sixth chapter of my ebook.
The reasons behind this rule are that if you keep calling and writing to her after the breakup, you will prove to her that you are desperate e in need, with no life outside of her and no other interests. In this way you will fall back into the number 1 mistake we talked about earlier: that of chasing her.
I invite you to follow this very important rule for three main reasons:
- By not contacting her and distancing yourself a little from her, you will begin to give her a way to miss you, and this is essential to bring it closer to you
- Not feeling it for a while will get you started work on yourself, and other areas of your life, which is just what we will see in the next step
- By not hearing it for a while, you will be able to temporarily close the parenthesis between the two of you, a parenthesis that you will reopen at a later time. showing yourself renewed. If some time doesn't pass in which you don't hear from each other, you won't have any chance to make her feel the difference between the old version of you (the boring one, which she has decided to leave), and the new one (which we are going to build, and which will be irresistible).
How long does it take to contact the ex again?
I advise you to let it pass three weeks, but this depends a lot on the specific characteristics of your situation. Sometimes it may be necessary to wait longer.
2. Work on yourself
Now that you've made up your mind to temporarily cut off contact with your ex, it's time to get down to business!
The reason things were no longer working between the two of you is that she has lost interest in you, so now you have to work hard to become a person. much more interesting, or go back to being the interesting person your ex fell in love with long ago, if you've been a little neglected lately.
Here are some things you can do:
- Join the gym
- Go on a diet if you are out of shape
- Renew your look
But beware, you don't have to do all of these things just to try to look better in his eyes!
This will only be a necessary and inevitable consequence, but the real reason why you will go to work on yourself will be to boost your self-esteem e improve yourself.
Maybe your self-esteem level had dropped lately, or maybe it dropped after breaking up with your ex (this is completely normal).
By working on yourself you will now restore a level of self-esteem at least decent, which is the necessary foundation to be able to build (or rebuild) a healthy relationship.
3. Find your identity
One of the main reasons why we feel bad after a relationship ends is that with her leaving, we feel like we have lost a very important part of our identity.
Being alone after having lived months or years together, it is normal to feel a bit confused and ask oneself things like "what is the meaning of my life now?", Or "who am I without her?".
This is precisely why you need to start find your identity.
You were there before you met her, and you will always be there, regardless of whether she is with you or not.
As discovered by this scientific research, quickly regaining an individual dimension after the end of a relationship, allows you to regain psychological well-being much more quickly.
Ok, but what do I actually have to do?
- Go back to cultivating relationships with your friends
- Go out and enjoy
- Resume your hobbies that you had recently neglected
- Sign up for a class of something (salsa, theater, yoga…) and meet new people
- Do something new that you have never done in your life
- Go on a trip, alone or with your friends
- Have a nice time with your family
In my ebook I address this issue in more depth, and I reveal several advanced techniques that will help you overcome the acute phase of pain and find yourself. You will find them in chapter 7.
4. Regain your masculine energy
In addition to rediscovering your identity, you absolutely must rediscover your masculine energy.
What is male energy?
It is that sense of direction, of determination to follow their own path and achieve their goals.
Ultimately it is an attitude towards life that you have probably lost, or that you still have to work hard to find.
All the activities proposed in point 2 (work on yourself) and in point 3 (find your identity) will also greatly help you to rediscover your masculine energy.
However, there is another key thing you need to do: set goals.
Goals that she has nothing to do with, but that are really important to you to achieve!
If you activate all 10, your ex (like every other girl on the face of the earth) will have a hard time resisting you, and will fall straight into your arms ?
5. Start sending her signals
Simultaneously with the work you will be doing on yourself, you need to start sending her some indirect signals to show her that something in you has changed.
They don't have to be big signals, and they don't have to be sent too soon, or she'll know it's inauthentic, just to get her attention.
Without exaggerating then start doing little things like:
- Change your profile picture on Facebook or Whatsapp
- Post photos or content on Facebook or Instagram (or any other social network you both use) where you show that there is something new in your life, which she does not know and does not expect
- Do something that makes her slightly jealous (nothing explicit or too strong)
With these simple tricks you will most likely grab her attention and make her curious. Perhaps you will also induce her to contact you again, or at the very least you will create fertile ground for you to be able to contact her again effectively at the end of the no-contact period.
Many other more advanced strategies that you can use to send her signals and tease her by making her interested in you, you can find them in chapter 10 of my ebook, in which I talk about the attitude to maintain on social networks.
6. Resurface in his renewed life
The time has finally come to gradually re-emerge in his life, but you will have to do it by showing yourself as a man completely renovated and different from what she left behind.
Take any of your features that she may have seen as your weakness and transform it into something better.
If she regarded you as a boring and somewhat static person, show her that now do some very interesting activities (martial arts, dance, parachuting ...).
If she criticized you for how you dressed, show her that you have significantly improved your style.
If you complained to her about your job, show her you've started moving to find a new one.
If you didn't have any friends while you were with her, show her that you have now re-established a lot of relationships and are dating much more often than before.
But be careful of one thing ...
This is the effect that you absolutely must NOT do to her: "But look at my ex ... he's doing everything to try to impress me ... poor thing, he's definitely still very sick by the end of our story."
Instead, this is the effect you aim for: "Damn ... my ex is cool ... maybe I was wrong to leave him ... He has a much more interesting life than when I left him ...".
You may be wondering how to elicit effect # 2 and not elicit effect # 1. Here is served:
- Try to implement gradual changes, not too sudden, which may seem a normal and authentic evolution of your person (even in part stimulated by the end of your story, why not, but not exclusively dependent on that).
- Respect the no-contact period, and don't be tempted to contact her first.
In addition to being seen renewed, you will need to make sure you do it slightly jealous even live (without exaggerating), and let her notice your slight detachment towards her (now she no longer controls you, and indeed you treat her almost as if she were a friend).
Well… we told you how to show yourself towards him once you are back in his life. Now is the time to ask yourself: how to reconnect with an ex in practice?
First of all if you have a common group of friends, if you have the opportunity to meet her in some club, at school, at university, at work, in the gym or in any other situation, now make sure that a chance meeting occurs between you, and that it is born from it a friendly conversation and light.
If you don't have a chance to meet her casually, just text her to find out how she is, and start a friendly conversation with her.
Exchange a few messages, and then step it up gradually (I explain the process very well in chapter 11 of my ebook).
If she is well disposed, talk to her on the phone, always in a friendly tone and without initially showing the willingness to get back together with her.
When the time is ripe, offer her a meeting where you will start showing your new features that we talked about earlier.
If you are looking for messages and phrases to win back an ex girlfriend, I wrote this article about it. They might be helpful in getting back to her, but just consider them as examples!
7. Take it back
The time has come to take it back, but what do you need to do now?
At this point, if you will see her even minimally interested or curious from the new person you have become, it means that you have played your cards right, and have a good chance of winning her back.
You will then have to continue to intensify the attraction and the emotions he feels towards you, until he literally falls into your arms.
How to win back your ex: special cases
Now I want to quickly deal with some special cases you may find yourself in, and give you additional advice.
How to win back a disappointed girl
If your ex is disappointed or hurt by some of your behavior, you are in a different case than the one presented so far.
She left you not for a lack of interest and emotion, but for one lack of confidence or stability, so the work you're going to have to do is consistently different.
First you will need to understand in what you have disappointed her (Did you cheat on her? Didn't you give her the stability she was looking for? Didn't you give her the right attention? Did any of your behavior hurt her?).
The next steps are: tell her that you realized you were wrong, give her a period of detachment, and then return to her by reactivating the emotions between you two and taking her back.
How to win back an ex who has another
Getting an ex back who has another man is certainly a very big challenge, especially since it will be much more difficult for you to manage your emotions.
You might feel humiliated, incredibly angry, and you may be inclined to end the relationship with her altogether without even making an attempt.
Even in this case, however, it will be fundamental keep calm.
Other than that, you will need to try to act faster to prevent your ex's relationship with the other man from solidifying.
How to win back an ex who doesn't love you anymore
Did she tell you she doesn't love you anymore?
You must not give too much weight to this statement, because there are always feelings in the feelings moments of high and low. If she has told you that she no longer feels anything, it may be a momentary phase, intensified by the fact that you have behaved in a needy way.
Certainly making them feel your absence thanks to the period of no contact, and by proposing yourself renewed in her life, you will give her the opportunity to rediscover her feelings towards you. Trust and stick to the path.
How to win back an ex who wants to be alone
If she told you she wants to be alone, she lied to you. The real reason she left you, or pulled away from you, is that she lost interest in you.
Don't believe the excuses he may have told you such as: "I need space to understand what I want from life", "I do not want to be with anyone", "the fault is not yours, but only mine and how I am", or "at this stage I need to be with alone to reflect ".
She doesn't want to be alone: she wants to be together with a man towards whom she feels attracted. She is subconsciously distancing herself from you because she no longer feels that attraction needed to be your partner.
Ultimately the path to regain it is the exact same one that I described above.
How to win back an ex-wife
If you are separating with your wife because she no longer loves you, the path to follow is more or less the same as what we have seen to win back an ex-girlfriend.
In the case of the ex-wife, however, they exist some additional considerations to do, some negative and others positive. Let's see them:
1. If she has decided to separate or filed for divorce, it is probably a much deeper and more important decision than that of a girl who decides to leave her ex-boyfriend. You will therefore have to put in a lot more effort to improve, bring her back to you and make her change her mind.
2. It will not always be easy to take advantage of the no contact rule because you may have children in common, shared property and other issues that like it or not force you to talk often and have a relationship.
3. The same reasons that do not allow you to take advantage of the no contact rule give you the great opportunity to regularly get in touch with her, show her the path of change and growth you are facing and bring her back to you.
So ultimately accept the separation without making a scene, improve yourself, maintain a friendly relationship with her and bring her back! To learn more, read this article.
Getting an ex back after months
Is it possible to get an ex back after months or years? Absolutely yes, however, we need to understand what happened in this period.
If you have been tormenting her all the time, writing to her, feeling sorry for yourself and asking her to get back together, you have definitely removed her from you and you have no chance of winning her back.
If, on the other hand, you haven't heard from each other for a few months, so you've somehow extended your no-contact period too long, you still have a chance.
This is the best time for send her a test message, test his reaction, and gradually re-emerge into his renewed life. Read my article on how to get an ex back after months to learn more here.
Win back ex from a distance
If you live far away, the only tool you will have at your disposal to regain it is your phone.
After the no contact period rewrite them, try to strike up a positive conversation without putting any pressure on them intensify it gradually speaking deeply about your lives.
If you can engage her emotionally and show the progress you are making in your life, you will surely push her to re-engage with you, even without the chance to see her in person.
How to win back an ex girlfriend: conclusion
Other times, unfortunately, it won't be that easy, or maybe over time you yourself will realize that you don't want to go back with her.
Give it a try, because in life you never have to give up on the things you really want, but remember that no one is indispensable to us, and especially none are irreplaceable.
You are a man, and in any case no one will be able to prevent you from raising your head and returning to being happy, with her or without her. Good luck ?
