It was the year 1997, when the psychologist Arthur Aron proposed one of the most curious experiments in the recent history of psychology. This psychologist thought that if we have some things in common with someone we could quickly fall in love with this person.To test his hypothesis, he recruited a group of people and prepared them a series of questions that they had to ask themselves with each other. The peculiar thing about these questions is that they were more and more personal and they dug deep into the intimate life of the other. Afterward, these people would look each other in the eye for a few minutes and the magic would strike, at least for many of them.In fact, of the 58 couples who participated in the experiment, 57% continued to remain in the circle of friends, 35% started a relationship and even one couple got married after six months. These are certainly impressive numbers.
But what are the questions?
First series:
1. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you invite to dinner?
2. Do you want to become famous? Like?
3. Before making a phone call, do you repeat the words you will say? Because?
4. What would be the perfect day for you?
5. When was the last time you sang alone? And for someone else?
6. If you could live to be 90 by choosing to have the body or mind of someone who is 30 in the last 60 years of your life, which option would you choose?
7. Can you imagine how you will die?
8. Three things you think you have in common with your interlocutor.
9. What aspect of your life are you most grateful for?
10. If you could change one thing in your lineup, which one would you change?
11. Tell your interlocutor your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow enjoying a new quality or ability, which one would you like?
Second series:
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or whatever, what would you ask?
14. Is there anything you have wanted to do for a long time? Why didn't you do it?
15. What has been the biggest success of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friend?
17. What is your most precious memory?
18. What is your most painful memory?
19. If you knew that you will have to die within a year, would you change anything in your way of life? Because?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. How important are love and affection in your life?
22. Alternately share five characteristics that you consider positive about your interlocutor.
23. Is your family close and affectionate to you? Do you think your childhood was happier than that of others?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Third series:
25. Of three sentences using the pronoun "we". For example, "we are in this room and we are listening ...".
26. Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone to share with ...".
27. If you become a close friend of your interlocutor, share with him or her something that it would be important for them to know.
28. Tell your interlocutor what you liked about him or her. Be very honest and tell him things you would never say to someone you just met.
29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life with your interlocutor.
30. When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone?
31. Tell your interlocutor something you like about him / her.
32. Is there anything that seems too serious to you to joke about?
33. If you were to die tonight, without a chance to talk to anyone, what do you regret not telling someone? And why didn't you tell him?
34. Your house is burning, with all your possessions inside. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time for one last raid and save an item. What do you choose? And why?
35. Of all the people in your family, who would death be the most painful to you? And why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your interlocutor to tell you how he or she would act to solve the problem. Also ask him how he thinks you feel about the problem you told him.
What's the secret?
These psychologists think the key is the intimacy that develops between the two. If you read the questions, you will notice that many force you to emotionally open up to the other, if the person accepts you, a strong emotional bond is created.
In fact, the intimacy that these questions generate is very similar to the path followed by two people who are starting a relationship and who, little by little, will build an ever deeper relationship. These questions are likely to allow us to get a glimpse into the soul of the other, and if we like what we see, it might even spark a spark.
Controindicazioni
The researchers also suggest that the odds of two people being attracted to each other increase when they share certain personality values ​​and characteristics. In fact, before forming the pairs, each one had to complete a series of tests to evaluate their compatibility.
Furthermore, it is indicated that these questions cause only a feeling of intimacy, but never loyalty, commitment or dependence, fundamental pillars of any relationship. These moods and feelings are generated over time and through continuous interaction.
Although this is a curious study with little scientific value, the truth is that it leaves us an idea to think about. If we want to conquer someone, because we are looking for a relationship or because we want to establish a relationship of friendship, sometimes it is enough to show ourselves for who we are. Sometimes it can be enough to drop the social masks by taking out what we have inside.
