I cheated on my wife and she wants to leave me ... how can I win her back?
In today's guide we want to deal with a very delicate issue, which concerns the marital betrayal. If adultery turns out to be complex to manage in a relationship, when it comes to marriage, things get even more complicated.
That ring that is worn on the ring finger of the left hand symbolizes a pact of love, and when the latter fails, it is very easy for the path of the two partners to start to separate. If, then, the pact is compromised by a betrayal, it is even worse.
These things, however unhappy to admit, you knew too. Today, in fact, I want to talk to you about the cards you have available to play to try to remedy your mistake and, therefore, to win back your wife.
I cheated on my wife and I feel guilty
If you cheated on your wife and you feel guilty, it is a good sign. As bad as you may feel about yourself now (as well as towards him), you should rejoice. No, I'm not kidding, I'm very serious.
There are people, both men and women, who they carry no weight in the face of the adultery committed, and this sense of inexplicable lightness leads them to find themselves in the same situation several times.
If, on the other hand, you have cheated on your wife and you feel guilty, it means that acknowledge that you have made a mistake, and this is what will allow you to never fall into this dangerous trap again.
"Do you just need a sense of guilt to escape other betrayals?" you will think. Generally speaking, yes. It is that sense of wrong, false ed hypocritical which, from here on out, should keep you away from other situations of this kind.
On the other hand, think about it: if a thief does not feel guilty for having stolen, he will continue to steal without much hesitation. And here, very trivially, the same argument applies. However, you can't even think about torturing your soul for what happened.
Betrayal is a mistake, and to err is human. No one is perfect and, unfortunately, it can happen to underestimate the risks that adultery entails. This is why I'm here today to tell you what to do if your wife has found out about the betrayal and now has left you or is planning to leave you.
If you feel guilty about what happened, it means that maybe, all in all, one second chance you might deserve it.
I cheated on my wife: how to fix things
At this point we just have to get to the heart of the matter and understand what it is in your power to do to try to improve the situation. Below, therefore, you will find 5 steps that will help you remedy your mistake, helping your wife through this time of pain and disappointment.
I want to emphasize that every single point is an important factor whether your wife has discovered the betrayal or is not yet aware of it. What puts these two situations on the same level, however different, is yours guilt, with which you will not be able to live much longer.
So, regardless of how things have evolved so far, here's what you need to do:
1. Get her trust back
The main problem with betrayal is there breaking of the relationship of trust between the two spouses. In addition to love and affection, certainly essential for a relationship to firmly resist time and difficulties, I am there sincerity and confidence to act as a glue.
Therefore, since when cheating fails, it is essential that you focus on them reconstruction. Think of it this way: if your wife can trust you again, it's very plausible that your marriage won't have to end.
Clearly, to ensure that a wounded heart can move beyond the pain and get back in a position to trust, it takes time. This means that you will need to be very patient and not grieve if you don't see improvement immediately.
2. Be honest, always
If you are really intent on recovering the relationship with your wife, and therefore want to restore her trust, you will have to make up your mind to rule out the lies and lies from your life.
She doesn't even have to think that what you tell her might be false, and for that, one is needed total transparency from you. So first, even if it will cost you a lot to do it, you need to be honest with her and tell her how things really went.
It won't be easy, but if you want her to put her trust in you, he needs it. The fact of seeing you ready to admit your truths it will make her realize that you have left behind that man who made the mistake of betraying her, and this is important to her.
This speech, of course, also applies when it is she who asks you questions or wants to deepen the subject. As difficult as it is, you don't have to get carried away by the fear of being honest.
Your wife will have to get involved by trusting you and overlooking your mistake, but you have to put her in a position to do so. Therefore, arm yourself with courage and love, and strip yourself of all lies.
3. Be understanding and helpful
In addition to the pain and disappointment of what happened, your wife will be gripped by a constant fear and thought: "She might do it again." As you see, everything we are saying comes back to the relationship of trust that has been destroyed.
Your wife, right now, does not trust your words. If you tell her you're going to be late for the office, she'll think it's an excuse to be with the other woman. If you change anything about your habits, she'll think your mistress has to do with it. And so on.
Therefore, in the beginning it will not be easy to relate to her, because it is possible that will question your every word. In this regard, let her know that you will always have your phone active and that, if she wants, she can video call you at any time.
In this way you make her understand right away that you have nothing to hide and that you are willing to go to meet her as you can and, above all, as she needs to to calm down.
4. Leave her spaces when she asks for them
Digesting a betrayal isn't easy, and as much as your wife may have the best intentions of getting through this, she may sometimes feel the need to get away from you.
You may feel the need to close in on itself as well as, instead, she might want to go out with her friends for have a little fun. Either way, you need to be ready to give her what makes her feel good now, including some solo moments.
On the other hand, let's say that you are not really in the position to be able to say no or to "think badly", therefore don't dig your own grave. When he feels better, you will see that he will come back and he will be happy to have received further understanding from you.
5. Find the right way to be there for her
Unfortunately there is no instruction manual that indicate what attitudes or thoughts your wife will have in the face of your betrayal. Some women need to be pampered and reassured, others have their own space, others still need greater control and security.
Anyway, if you notice, that's all we've talked about so far. What I would like to touch on now is the theme linked to emotionality and sentimental transport. As we said at the beginning, both trust and love are necessary in a relationship.
Therefore, in addition to rebuilding the relationship of sincerity, it is also necessary to work on emotional component. This doesn't mean you'll just have to give her a bouquet of flowers every now and then, but make sure she can feel herself loved e appreciated:
- Organize a home made dinner and create an intimate and romantic setting
- Leave her notes in different places around the house with sweet (not cheesy) phrases
- When you have some time, just call her to let her know you wanted to say hello
In short, you have to try to make her "fall in love" with you a little at a time, without becoming exaggerated in your gestures. Even just touch her hand while you are watching TV or at the table, it is a gesture that will not leave you indifferent.
I cheated on my wife: how to win her back
As you can see, getting your wife back after cheating is no small feat. Indeed, the factors to pay attention to are many and full of different facets, especially considering that every woman is unique and will react differently.
The ones we have seen above are some of the steps most important that you will have to do to try to win back your wife and, above all, her trust. However, the path is more complex than what we have been able to cover in this guide which, although exhaustive, it is just the tip of the iceberg.
