Last update: 15 September, 2022
Both men and women have long kept their sexual fantasies relegated to the imagination, either out of limiting beliefs or out of fear of the opinion of others. However, nowadays, sexuality is experienced in a much more liberating way, allowing us to make our most erotic dreams come true.
Imagination plays a very important role in all sexual encounters and in sexuality understood in a much broader way, because sexuality can be a look with a clear intention, a word whispered in the ear, a caress distracted, a simple kiss on the cheek.
"There are kisses that cause delusions of amorous, mad, burning passion, you know them well, they are my kisses invented by me, for your mouth."
-Gabriela Mistral-
What is a sexual fantasy
British psychotherapist Brett Kahr defines sexual fantasies as "a thought or set of conscious thoughts that include the representation of one or several sexual acts, of one or several sexual scenes, of sexual images and with frequency of sexual language, all of which, in many cases, produce sensations of pleasure ranging from mental pleasure to physical stimulation of the genitals. "
No doubt, for Freud, people who have sexual fantasies demonstrate a lack of satisfaction in sex, which is why a frustrated desire arises that one tries to compensate with fantasies and imagination.
“Sensuality wanted to convince us that we were in love, but reason resisted the deception. Then the fantasy brought her the opportune help. "
-Arthur Schnitzler-
Sex and the imagination in men and women
Both women and men, once free from prejudices, give in to the gamble of making their dreams come true, the most hidden desires, but what do men and women imagine to get aroused? What are their sexual fantasies?
In general, women have three types of sexual fantasies: group sex (be it two men or a man and a woman), sex with strangers, and swinger or swinger swapping.
For their part, men generally imagine group sex especially with many women, being dominated by a woman, bondage, sex in public places.
There are several studies that have shown that when we increase the erotic fantasies, the erotic sensations also increase. It is a question of imagining everything that can be considered forbidden, transgressive and morbid. However, fantasies can not only come true, they can also be imagined when we are with our partner to play and have fun.
How to stimulate the imagination with sex
Imagination in sex is essential both in solitude and in company, imagining sex with strangers, new positions, using sex toys, imagining sex with a friend's partner, sex on a deserted beach or in a public place are just some of the fantasies we can have to stimulate ourselves and achieve more pleasurable sexuality. Below we give you some tips so that you can stimulate your imagination, and also that of your partner to try something new:
- Watch an erotic movie together
There are many films that are not pornographic, but very erotic, and that can stimulate our imagination more than a movie with explicit sex would.
If you watch them with your partner, you will set your imagination in motion and little by little you will begin to imagine what it would be like to live among yourselves what you see on the screen. Are you brave enough to try?
- Buy sexy lingerie
Think about going to a sexy lingerie shop with your partner, choose something that both of you like and imagine what it would be like to have a sexual encounter while wearing that lingerie, garter, stockings ...
Play with your imagination and that of your partner, with the places where you could have sex while wearing that underwear, with people who might be watching you ...
- Try new positions
One of the biggest shortcomings in a couple is getting used to certain positions because they already know that the other will like them, you have to innovate, laugh, melt and experiment.
Try new positions that you have never tried, that stimulate you just thinking about it about what sex will be like with your partner in that position. Be uninhibited and have fun.
"In all erotic encounters there is an invisible and always active character: the imagination."
-Octavio Paz-
