What characterizes a chronic liar? What strategies does he use to avoid being discovered? What consequences can this habits have on the couple relationship? We talk about it in this article.
Last update: May 20, 2022
We all lie, to friends, parents, partners and, of course, strangers. But telling a lie once in a while isn't like lying all the time. In this article we present some strategies to understand if the partner is a chronic liar.
The one who constantly lies is able to create a whole fictitious life in front of others. Moreover, often offers numerous details, so it can be difficult to uncover the deception. Thanks to the advice we share in the following lines, however, it will be easier.
Characteristics of the chronic liar
A chronic liar is a person who continually deceives the people around him. In the popular Elite series, Cayetana's character displays the typical behavior of a chronic liar.
For several episodes she makes her classmates believe that she is a rich girl with a fabulous life. She even manages to convince them to give her money, until they find out.
Researchers Roos and Jones (2022) described similar conduct in an article on the deception theory of mimicry. According to their research work, the behavior of the chronic liar consists of four dimensions. Knowing them can help you understand if your partner is a chronic liar.
1. Integration with the environment
To believe a person, we must first of all trust him. Chronic liars know this well, so gaining the trust of others is a marked trait in their personality.
After gaining the trust of the people around them, it will be easier to deceive them and more difficult to arouse suspicion.
2. An elaborate hoax
The chronic liar tells credible and highly detailed lies. If we go back to Cayetana's example, he doesn't just claim that he comes from a wealthy family, he also creates an Instagram account where he posts selfies in a huge house (where he actually works). Likewise, he wears designer clothes despite having no money to pay for them.
This example helps us understand that chronic liars don't tell simple lies, their deceptions are cunningly crafted. They approach every aspect of the lie carefully, so that it is more difficult to be discovered by others.
3. Get benefits
To understand if we are dealing with a chronic liar, we should look at the benefits he gets from established relationships. Chronic liars take advantage of others, using them as a means to achieve a goal.
In Elite, Cayetana justifies the problems with the ATM as a consequence of the numerous purchases, so that her friends pay for her.
4. Inconsistencies
The last dimension refers to all the measures that the liar takes to avoid being discovered. Someone might notice an inconsistency in her story and question it. Faced with this situation, she will likely create a new lie to justify his mistake.
How to tell if your partner is a chronic liar
Those presented are the particular traits of the behavior of chronic liars. In addition to paying attention to these aspects, it is useful to use some techniques to expose the weaknesses of their stories.
It is important to note that these are not foolproof tricks for uncovering lies. However, they help detect suspicious attitude that could indicate deception.
1. Take it by surprise to find out if your partner is a chronic liar
Chronic liars are used to people believing what they are told without asking too many questions. Because their lies are complex and have earned the trust of others, they are comfortable telling made-up stories. However, deceiving requires a lot of mental energy, so we can "surprise" them to mentally overload them.
Blandón-Gitlin et al. (2014) published a study on cognitive load in detecting lies. To overload the liar's mind, techniques such as asking confusing and unexpected questions can be used. For example, if the person talks about an alleged trip to Europe, we can ask the family for information.
Asking to tell a back story is another way to tell if the partner is a chronic liar. This will require a greater cognitive load and it will be easier to contradict oneself.
2. Open questions
Open-ended questions are a good resource for detecting lies because they force you to add details to stories. Instead of asking for something specific from the past, we could ask the partner to tell her about her childhood in general. If he lies, he will be forced to make up some information and may be nervous.
3. Pay attention to details to determine if the partner is a chronic liar
In any story, the small details can reveal an inconsistency. For example, the liar might inadvertently say that he went to the beach at a time when there were actually severe thunderstorms.
Instead of correcting it, it is recommended that you let it continue with its story. In this way it will be possible to notice further contradictions.
4. Observe the reactions
Direct comparison is not recommended. The ideal is to create the right atmosphere for an informal conversation and use the above techniques to get the person out of their comfort zone. Here she will be less sure of herself or even evasive in answering.
Phe may even interrupt the conversation by claiming to be uncomfortable. This could mean that she feels overwhelmed and is unable to prolong her lies or share new ones.
Conclusions
The tips presented in this article are not foolproof tricks for uncovering the deception. Rather, a set of techniques that can give us an idea of ​​the dishonesty of the person in front of us.
