There are many women who feel a sense of guilt and confusion because they feel alone after the birth of a child. Still, this sentiment is quite widespread.
Last update: June 05, 2022
In general, society has a rather romantic idea of ​​motherhood. The arrival of a child is perceived as the phase of maximum fulfillment for a woman. It is expected to be a time of joy and satisfaction and to mark the completion and meaning of life. That's why many women feel confused and guilty when they experience loneliness during motherhood.
While this is certainly a beautiful and rewarding experience, it is not an idyll. Precisely for this reason it is necessary to give visibility to the less pleasant side of motherhood, to the challenges and difficulties it entails. Among these, the sense of loneliness that a mother can experience during her child's early childhood.
A lonely phase
With the birth of a child, life changes. The body changes, emotions become more intense and unstable due to the flow of hormones. To all this we must add the psychological stress that comes from taking on a new role. A role that very often hides, almost to the point of eliminating, all the others that define identity.
Suddenly it feels like you are no longer a woman, wife, daughter, friend or professional. She is a single mother, full time and practically alone. This new creature continually needs us and depends on us to stay healthy physically and emotionally.
Although you can count on the help of the father and the support of family members, after all, the mothers spend 24 hours a day at home with the little ones.
Lack of sleep, physical and emotional fatigue, and the absence of adult companionship most of the time can make you feel the burden of motherhood. A weight that no one had told us about and for which we could come to feel deeply guilty and not very valid in the role of mothers.
How is it possible to experience this sadness, this apathy and this fatigue, if we should feel euphoric and satisfied just by holding our children in our arms?
The sense of loneliness during motherhood is extremely common in the early years of a child's life. Carrying the burden of education on your shoulders, and doing it alone, can cause considerable damage to the mood.
For this reason it is important that women are aware of the actual existence of this problem and can receive help to counteract the harmful effects of the situation.
How to relieve the sense of loneliness during motherhood?
First, forget the guilt. Don't feel obligated to be fully satisfied every moment following the birth of your children.
Each emotion has its importance: you have the right to feel and express them. However, try to go back to the origins, so as to find a solution.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or lonely, it doesn't mean that you don't love your children or that you aren't a good mother. It is simply a wake-up call that perhaps you need to rest or recover some of your identity. Remember how much you are worth, remember that you have other facets, that you are bright and pleasant, and that you are not just mothers.
If, on the other hand, you feel this way, don't hesitate to ask for help, delegate and contact your loved ones to lighten your workload, at least in part. Let other people take care of the housework or care of the baby, at least in some moments.
This will allow you to take a bath, go for a walk or chat with friends.
Loneliness during motherhood and the importance of taking care of yourself
The first few years of a child's life can absorb the energies of the mother, who may neglect herself and put her own happiness in the last place.
But don't forget that taking care of yourself means taking care of your little one. A child needs a happy, peaceful and satisfied mother. If you find room to take care of your physical and mental health, you will be more willing to take care of your children.
The sense of loneliness typical of motherhood is quite widespread, but not insurmountable for this. Try to connect with other adults and sometimes think about yourself first. Motherhood shouldn't make you feel caged.
