When you love, you take care of your partner and you care for him / her. Loving someone also means taking responsibility for your actions, words and behaviors to ensure the well-being of your loved one. Neglecting this aspect can lead to losing everything.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2022
Love and responsibility are two sides of the same coin. Partners, children, family, friends and even yourself ... Affection for those who are part of our life, but also for ourselves, implies acting responsibly, taking care of our actions and the well-being of those we love. It is so obvious that we often end up neglecting it.
We do this, for example, when we blame our partner for problems or difficulties. And we often carry the weight of some unpleasant situations on his shoulders without being able to see that we too participate in the same dynamics. A relationship, whatever its nature (as a couple, friendship, etc.), is the interaction between two people who exchange feedback.
In this small planet, everything has a weight: words, gestures, what has been said and kept silent. And in order for this precious world to continue to shine with the same brightness, we must learn to be responsible, because love is also responsibility. We should therefore learn to train this psychological muscle with intelligence and sensitivity.
"Responsibilities begin in dreams."
-W. B. Yeats-
Love and responsibility: the pillars that sustain relationships
Psychotherapist Albert Ellis used to say that there are many people who prefer to shirk their responsibilities. It's easier to slip away or let others take care of everything. For this reason, if we truly want to play an active role on the stage of life, love and happiness, we must assume the obligation to be responsible.
In recent years this topic has become a new field of study that collects more and more research works. For example, a study conducted by the University of Missouri reminds us that if we are free to make our own decisions, to be independent, to form friendships, as a couple or to form a family, we have an obligation to develop this competence. Moreover, responsibility and happiness are dimensions that always go together.
Words and deeds are important to each other: being accountable for your own conduct
Nothing we do (or don't do) goes unnoticed in the eyes of those who love us. This is a detail that we often overlook. Just as we neglect the point of view of others focusing only on ourselves.
We do not evaluate the effect of our behaviors or our words thinking that those who love us will not take into account either one or the other. But everything is processed and filtered on an emotional level.
Love and responsibility go hand in hand, leading us to measure our behaviors more to promote the well-being of people who are important to us.
The responsibility to admit your mistakes
The mature person with adequate emotional competence is able to accept their mistakes and correct them. He will rarely hold others responsible for what happened. And in no case will he try to project guilt on them.
If we ourselves are directly or indirectly responsible for suffering, it is good to take a step forward and find a way to deal with the situation.
Love and responsibility: being aware of what is right and what is wrong
Responsibility and awareness are essential cogs in a happy relationship. The ability to see the reality of every situation, recognize what is happening, know what is right, what is wrong and act accordingly is an act of emotional health.
We often complain about people "who are not aware of certain dynamics", who act without thinking about the consequences and suffocate us with their selfishness and their childish behavior. Nothing is more important than developing a good dose of awareness to act best in any situation.
You are my responsibility (and I am yours)
Love and responsibility are threads that are intertwined with daily complicity, with the authentic desire to care for and protect those you love. Understanding that the other is our responsibility (and vice versa) means, above all, that both of us must strive to promote each other's well-being in order to become a help and not an obstacle, to give impulse to take flight and not to impose resistance or chains.
Know what you need and communicate your needs
Offering the other what they need is another principle of responsibility in emotional ties. In most cases we know how to behave in these situations: we all need to feel loved, respected, valued and supported under all circumstances.
At the same time, it is important to communicate to the other our desires, the limits not to be overcome and what we lack. We have a responsibility to express ourselves and complain without waiting for others to guess what we want.
Love and responsibility
A relationship, whether it is friendship, love or family, gives us meaning and also a purpose. We must always keep this in mind, at all times. All this forces us to take responsibility for many aspects, and not just those focused solely on the other.
Being responsible also means investing in love because nothing is as fulfilling as this noble feeling. It helps us grow, it nourishes us, it gives us an existential meaning. Taking care of the one you love means taking care of what gives us meaning and happiness.
