Last update: 15 September, 2022
Let's talk about sex, keeping the concept separate from that of "making love". We live basic needs by running away from complex emotions. We think of love as delicacy and sex as the animal expression of ourselves, but the borders are not always defined so white is white and black is black. Let's explore the topic together.
Love and sex
When we talk about love as a couple, we refer to those feelings that arise when a person unites in a more or less reciprocal way with another person. These emotions lead to joint growth, complicity, joint projects, etc..
If we refer to sex, however, excluding love, we are talking about an "selfish" expression of our sexuality. The biological and physical act with which the human being satisfies his primary needs.
In this case it is sufficient that the people involved are consenting, there is no reason to put feelings in the middle and even less the mutual knowledge. There is a small tinge of selfishness, because each of the two "sides" focuses on their needsIn fact, faced with the absence of an attachment, there is no reason to take care of the other person's needs.
Love with sex, sex with love
If we look for an intermediate point, we will find a reality that sooner or later both those who believe they have only love and those who believe they have only sex will arrive.
It is very easy to have emotionless sex with a person, but it is not when that person begins to become a part of their life or feelings. Suddenly, when before there was a hasty kiss, now there is a look, a touch of lips and a caress. Sex dulls the other senses, passion begins to grow and change shape, because now sex is not just sex, it is sex with this person..
Love as a couple, without sexuality, is incomplete and it is precisely sexuality that makes two human beings reach the peak of intimacy, where trust crosses paths that otherwise it could not even approach. Two minds that have joined in so many other areas can now physically join together and take the attraction to another point, to another plane, to another level..
Better united than separated
Where do we want to go by saying this? The kind of sexuality in which the senses and feelings are the third person in the bedroom and make the connection between two bodies a collision of emotions. The touch of the other person on the back is like a brush that draws your curves and her kisses are the culmination of passion.
The climax is greater and it is only because the concept of satisfying a primary need is put aside to work on passion combined with sweetness, complicity, shared pleasure. Understanding is the resource with which the gears fit together in such a way as to make the couple a perfect machine, where both are the best virtues of each other.
"To bed.
Lucia: Did you like it more with someone else than with me?
Lorenzo: No.
Lucia: Tell me the truth
Lorenzo: Maybe sometimes, but it's different.
Lucia: You are referring to that of the island, right?
Lorenzo: Yes.
Lucia: She is almost an ordinary person, you don't know her, full moon; we have to go to your island, separately, and then meet there, as if we don't know each other, we would have the fuck of the century, right?
(silence).
Lucia: What do you prefer? Sex with a stranger or with a person you know and are in love with, but is it a wild relationship?
Lorenzo: How?
Lucia: You have to choose. Wild sex with a stranger or sex with love, but wild, with a known person, crazy about you and you about her, of course. Come on, be honest.
Lorenzo: With you ”.
Lucia and Sex (2001)
