Apparently, men and women experience desire differently. Because? In which direction do these differences go?
Last update: 18 September, 2022
When we enter the universe of eros, we often tend to speak in stereotypes. What characterizes desire? What is the difference between male and female sexual desire?
Desire is that impulse that drives us to seek contact and to interact sexually. It involves multiple dimensions: physiological, psychological, social, cultural, relational, etc. Sexual desire, therefore, is multifactorial. It can be triggered by stimuli of a different nature:
- Outdoor: for example, when the partner wears a particularly seductive garment.
- interior: factors associated with thought or physiological processes.
When we talk about male or female sexual desire, we are referring to the desire associated with gender. And, among the meanings of the term "gender", the Devoto-Oli reports: "the masculine and the feminine, understood as the result of a complex of cultural and social models that characterize each of the two sexes and condition their role and behavior" .
Gender differences are visible in everyday life, also in terms of sexual desire. First of all, male desire appears to be more direct than female desire.
Differences between male and female sexual desire: at what age does it appear?
Male sexual desire can be said to appear in puberty, sometimes associated with nocturnal pollutions. It lasts until the age of 50 and then fades, accompanied in some cases by a decrease in libido.
Female sexual desire awakens later. According to individual experience, the woman reaches sexual maturity around the age of 35. The desire can increase or decrease as menopause approaches.
In many cases, libido is closely associated with the person's general health condition. This means that sexual desire can increase if overall health improves, including, of course, mental well-being.
The excitement
Arousal also varies by gender. Research suggests that women tend to become more aroused by the circumstances, while men are more excited by the content. Women consider emotional connection very important, while for men it is not an indispensable condition. Especially as for many men, sexual desire and its fulfillment is a way to connect and not a consequence of it.
In addition to this, the male population tends to be more specific in their preferences. This could be explained by the fact that men generally think about sex more than women do. In a sense, therefore, they are more likely to have clear ideas about what they want.
Psychological factors
Psychological factors can be mediated by education, culture, society and even religion, as they affect thinking. According to classical theories, man is able to separate sex from emotions, that is, he is capable of experiencing sexual desire in more "heterogeneous" emotional states.
This idea is supported by much of the research. However, Rupp and Wallen in their article Sex difference in response to a visual stimuli; a review, suggest that some studies may have come to an incorrect conclusion due to an unexpected interaction between the desire being measured, the variable of stimuli presented, and the measurement techniques.
It is therefore a question that has yet to be clarified. We do not have a definitive answer on this. For the time being, the difference between male and female sexual desire appears to be explained by perceived expectations about gender roles and sexual attitudes.
Women with strong sexual desire
However, we cannot exclude exceptional cases, for example women who have a strong sexual desire. Studies on female desire often highlight relationship and context as motivators of desire, but this can vary greatly from woman to woman.
Women with strong sexual desire rely on a greater amount of erotic impulses, a more sensual communication, more recurring and elaborate thoughts and fantasies. Beyond that, they come to see themselves as "adventurers" of sex with a strong libido.
It may happen that the differences between one woman and another are the consequence of social elements that in some cases limit the expression of female sexuality. In fact, very eager women often feel a negative opinion on themselves from society and this leads them to worry about what others might think.
