Narcissistic micromanipulation is at the pinnacle of the art of manipulation, emotional abuse, and control over the other person.
Last update: February 13, 2022
Micromanipulations are like the bite of an insect that inoculates its venom. At first we do not perceive them, because they come with the anesthetic of good intentions, of love in disguise, of worried friendship, of the most brilliant love.
Sooner or later, however, the imprint of pain appears, the moment we begin to question the relationship. These tactics are common in the narcissistic personality.
Emotional manipulation traffickers are very skilled and cunning in engaging in this form of indirect abuse, which is imperceptible at first, but ultimately very damaging. Victimism, constant demands, the art of distorting reality or the projection of guilt are common exercises in this profile.
The ways some people can inadvertently undermine our happiness are immense. It is important to know the cryptic tactics that the narcissistic personality uses.
Micromanipulation mainly uses the delicate art of distorting the emotions of others, of making people believe what is not, of undermining self-esteem in a silent and progressive way.
What are micromanipulations?
We can define micromanipulations as intentional behaviors aimed at altering a person's emotional balance in order to have control over it. This strategy uses a fundamental and essential dimension: empathy.
Therefore, although it is commonly thought that figures such as narcissists lack this psychological area, the reality is quite different.
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder show instrumental empathy, that is, they try to connect with others to get something in return.
For this reason, their first channel of entry is to facilitate the connection with the victim to make them believe that they are understood and that they are completely in tune, and then benefit from it.
A study conducted at the University of Louisiana in Monroe (United States) has shown that people defined by the so-called dark triad, namely those showing psychopathic, narcissistic and Machiavellian traits may also show prosocial behavior.
In other words, they manage to connect with others and build relationships, but they will as long as they gain something.
How do micromanipulations manifest themselves in the relational sphere?
Micromanipulation is the narcissist's favorite tool. They are very effective strategies in order to control, attack and immerse victims in a web of continuous violations and psychological usury.
They will make you feel like the most special person in the world
To exercise control, the narcissist must first gain the trust of the other person. To do this, his main strategy is to charm, to make the most special person in the world feel. It is one of the primary micromanipulations, as well as the most decisive.
You did "this and that", but I forgive you (the burden of daily guilt)
The narcissist, as a good juggler of emotions and creator of the projection of guilt, will make the person believe they are doing it wrong without noticing it. “You forget things, you put others in the background, you neglect their needs”… His strategy is simple: first he blames mistakes and then he forgives them.
The victim, the thread that always brings you home
"I would do it for you ... If you don't want to do it for me, it is clear that you do not love me or do not like to see me suffer", "Despite the pain you have caused me, you still want to go out with your friends", "I had a period difficult for several weeks and you don't even realize it ”.
Micromanipulations become constant in everyday life with the narcissist. The latter often manifests them through that victimhood which, in some way, always forces the victim to yield.
Micromanipulations in WhatsApp messages
Narcissists now use new technologies. It is another medium of communication, so it is common for micromanipulations to be on the agenda in these media as well.
The aim is to emotionally destabilize the victim, make them doubt, worry, etc. On average, they use the following strategies:
- They text and then apologize and say it wasn't for us, that they were wrong.
- They can send multiple messages and then delete them. Seeing "this message has been erased", it is inevitable that concern and bewilderment is activated in us in the face of this practice.
- When they get angry about any trivial cause, they usually resort to blocking on social networks.
Harmful behaviors that try to get attention, make you worry and therefore have emotional control.
Envy, they urge you not to stand out in order not to belittle them
Many times narcissistic micromanipulators present themselves before us as humble and very simple figures. We are fascinated by that seemingly fascinating narrative with which it is very easy to empathize.
However, in little by little we discover that underneath that layer of false humility is resentment. They don't think there can be people who are more skilled, determined and competent than them.
One of the most common micromanipulations is that which aims not to make others stand out. To do this, the manipulators show a childish behavior, throwing digs that weigh like a ballast for the motivation of others. If we give in to their demands, we will end up lowering ourselves to their level and under their absolute control.
Conclusions
The tricks, tricks, and underhanded strategies that narcissists apply on a daily basis are often so sophisticated that it is easy to fall for them. We do this because, at first, we see them through the filter of affection.
Nonetheless, little by little that veil ends up falling off and eventually we become fully aware of who they are. At that point, a decision must be made on the matter.
