None of the household chores correspond by nature to either sex, so in this sense the discussion is resolved.
Last update: April 06, 2022
“My partner helps me with the housework”. We all continue to hear, to our desperation, this sentence, this rusty expression that implies a categorization of gender that must be reformulated. In a house no one should help anyone, because there is a common responsibility, teamwork. In light of this, the correct sentence should be "My partner doesn't help me at home, we work together".
Despite the progress, a different mentality and every little achievement in terms of gender equality, yes they continue to perceive the roots of the patriarchal model. It is that shadow still hidden in many minds or in the inertia of a language, in which the idea is still present that the man provides resources, and the woman manages the house and children.
“Men and women should feel free to be strong. It's time to see genres as a whole, not as a set of opposite poles. We have to stop challenging each other. "
-Emma Watson's speech at the UN-
Today, thinking that the responsibility for household chores and the education of children is exclusive to women is something outdated, a vestige of a past that no longer holds up or at least shouldn't. However, it is not necessary to defend a fair distribution of 50/50 at all costs.
It must be borne in mind that each couple is different, each house has its own dynamics and it is its own members who establish the distribution and responsibilities based on their availability. Factors such as work undoubtedly determine these agreements, which must be managed in a fair, complicit and respectful way.
Times have changed (at least a little)
Times have changed, now we are others, new, braver and with many more challenges than our grandparents and our grandmothers. At least, we like to believe so and that is why we fight. However, there are large suspension bridges to cross. Issues such as the pay gap or equal opportunities still carry the stigma of gender. Complex struggles that women continue to lead.
When it comes to housework and childcare, advances in equality are significant. It is clear that each person will have their own personal experience, and that in each country, in each city and in each house there are particular realities that condition our vision on the subject.
The Reuters agency, in fact, published an interesting study with a surprising title a few years ago: having a partner means women work an extra 7 hours a week. Such a statement indicates that inequality in household chores is still evident. However, it is far from the data obtained since 1976 where the difference was 26 hours per week.
If a few decades ago women fully assumed their role as housewives, today their figure has crossed the border from the private sphere to the public ones previously exclusive to men. However, sharing the same spaces does not always imply equal opportunities or equal rights.
Many women take on the responsibilities of both spheres. The house and often the education of the children are added to work. If it is true that in terms of household chores the role of men in many cases is full and equal, the same does not happen in the care of non self-sufficient people. Today the care of the elderly or children with disabilities falls almost exclusively on women.
Housework and daily arrangements: "My partner doesn't help me"
Household tasks are no one's heritage, on the contrary they are totally interchangeable. Neither ironing is mum's job, nor is repairing the sink dad's job. Maintaining a house, both in the economic sphere and in the domestic care and maintenance sphere, is the business of those who live under that roof, regardless of gender.
The curious aspect is that even today we still hear the phrase "my husband helps me around the house" or "I help my girlfriend to wash the dishes". Perhaps, as we say, it's simple inertia and that iron patriarchal pattern built into our minds where every task is sexualized in pink and blue.
The daily chords and the balanced cast offer harmony to that domestic routine in which it is easy to fall into reproach: “You don't do anything at home” or “When I come back, I'm too tired”. Agreements should not be reached out of mere equity or gender role, but out of logic and common sense.
If the partner works all day and we are unemployed or have the freedom to stay home to look after the children, we cannot ask him to cook and buy our clothes. Likewise, the woman does not have to be a "supermom". The children are the responsibility of both, even more we must serve as a model by demonstrating that there are no gender differences. That making the bed, taking care of the dog and the house does not mean helping mom or dad, it is everyone's responsibility.
“My partner does not help me at home, we cooperate”, in what way?
Each house is different. A couple without children will have less housework than a couple with children; a couple who does not work will have more time. Therefore, in each family the distribution of time should be applied according to what is convenient for both.
It is worthwhile to draw up one list of activities we like and another of those we don't like. If your partner likes to cook and we prefer to clean, just divide up the tasks. Many couples share housework according to their tastes, "I do this and you do that" and both are happy.
Problems arise when one of you (or both) does not like to do anything or does not want to do anything. If so, the best idea will be plan a weekly schedule where activities faint swapped.
Conclusions
None of the household chores correspond by nature to either sex, therefore in this sense the discussion is resolved. We must not forget that sometimes one of the two works and the other stays at home. In this case, the distribution does not have to be fair. If the one working is out for 8 hours, the other will have more time for other activities.
When distributing tasks, it must be taken into account, on the one hand, that both sexes are perfectly capable of carrying out any task. On the other hand, that common sense must be used according to the time and availability of each one.
