In this guide we will deal with a very delicate issue, that is how to deal with a narcissistic husband. In fact, women who live in close contact with a narcissistic man can barely recognize that they have a serious relationship problem.
Life with a narcissistic husband, as we shall see, it is anything but simple: this is why it is important to intervene and prevent "things from taking their course". Before we begin, however, I would like to anticipate that if you are looking for a change, that change must be you.
Relationship with a narcissistic husband
Having a relationship with a narcissistic man is not simple, but things get worse when talking about a narcissistic husband. These people, in fact, suffer from a precarious psychological condition, and unfortunately they pour out their way of being and living on those close to them.
If you are reading these lines it is because you are realizing that, most likely, within your love and family life there is a narcissistic husband, and you want to know what does it mean and how to to improve the situation.
The news you will read here will not be exciting, I anticipate it, but on the other hand I am sure that you will reflect a lot in these words, and this will lead you to make the necessary considerations.
The problems of living a relationship with a narcissistic husband are many, and sadly, you are the victim:
- Continuous attempts of control and manipulation
- Lack of empathy towards you
- Absence of an analysis of conscience and recognition of its errors
- He comes before anyone else, including you
- Tendency to invent excuses and lies
- Tendency to betrayal
Narcissistic Husband: Here's What It Means To You
Those listed above are the traits of the narcissistic man, which unfortunately they leave behind very little space on the plus side, especially when it comes to living under the same roof. In front of a person with these characteristics, nobody, and I mean nobody, would be happy with their marriage.
The partner must be a safe haven, a corner of happiness and a person with whom to share the vision of the future. The narcissistic husband, on the other hand, is a skilled manipulator who always tries to turn the omelette to his own advantage, making you feel guilty as soon as he gets the chance.
Not only that, the narcissistic husband is the one who cannot argue constructively, since his only interest is to belittle you in the eyes of both of you. He is unable to look in the mirror and admit his mistakes, as well as is unable to apologize.
The narcissistic husband does not know how to put himself in your shoes, and because of this he struggles to understand you and to be close to you. But worse still, he doesn't care that much. Finally, husbands with narcissism find it extremely difficult to be honest and transparent. As soon as they get the chance they try to mislead, lie or hide.
With these assumptions it is not difficult to understand why the narcissistic husband has a tendency to cheat. However, the real problem with extramarital affairs he could experience, is the attitude he will adopt in case it is discovered.
At first he will bow down to your pain, but at 99% expect to relive the same scene in your future. All this it means being in a relationship with a narcissistic husband.
My husband is a narcissist: what to do?
If you believe your husband suffers from narcissism, the last thing you need to do is remain helpless in the face of this realization. In other words: don't let him drag you or your marriage.
First, therefore, you will have to learn to enforce yourself. The only way to do this is to take back what is yours, which is your self-esteem. If you think you are cheap, need him, or depend on your relationship, you're not going anywhere.
Remember that the narcissistic husband is a lover of control, and it just waits to see you vulnerable so it can attack you. In addition to self-esteem, however, it is essential that you also enjoy one good emotional independence, which allows you to make decisions, not to feel guilty about everything and which allows you to recognize and enjoy the little things.
At the same time, to survive marriage to a narcissistic man it is important that you set some rules. Let him know that you are not a flag in the wind, but that every time he crosses a certain limit, you will be ready to respond. In other words: forget to be passive.
It's a bit like dealing with a child: You press him when he behaves well, but you are also ready to scold him when he behaves badly. Your husband must understand that for each of his actions or words, there is one your reaction.
These are great ways to keep a narcissistic husband at bay and not suffer too much from your relationship. However, as you well know, nobody is stopping you from considering the idea of separate you o divorce him.
Of course, it is an extreme, difficult choice that very often leads to unforeseen complications. However, if you believe that the advice you have read here cannot work, or if you have already put them into practice and have not seen any improvement, perhaps it is time to make more drastic decisions which, however, they will lead you to a happier life.
Narcissistic ex-husband: how to defend yourself?
As many psychologists advise, in order to distance or defend yourself from a narcissistic husband it is advisable to try to reduce relations with him as much as possible. Sure, it won't be easy since you live under the same roof, but it's important to avoid making the situation worse.
At the same time you will need to do a huge work on yourself, because like it or not, you are your husband's victim. However, when it comes to narcissism, we can't stand here talking about things like "try to understand him, be nice to him, let him open up to you or get to the root of his pain".
Anything that works with other people, with the narcissist it won't work. As a result, avoid wasting time, energy and feeling hoping that he can change or improve just because you are married - it is virtually impossible for that to happen.
If you really intend to save your relationship, the only thing you can do is rely on a marriage counselor, possibly who is familiar with the methods to be used when talking about a narcissistic husband.
If, on the other hand, you have already separated permanently and you want to defend yourself from his possible return, put the record straight, block him everywhere and keep it away from your life. You will need a lot of determination to get through this first phase, but then everything else in your life will be downhill!
