No contact, or zero contact, is a technique widely used in couple relationships and in particular for the reconquest of an ex. Many know and talk about it, but there is still a lot of confusion on the subject, and every week I receive emails from men or women asking me questions like:
- Does no contact to win back really work or does it risk worsening the situation?
- how long should the no contact last exactly for my specific case?
- If I don't write to my ex anymore won't she forget me?
- what to do if the ex writes to me during the zero contact period?
- will no contact really work to get her back to me?
- Is no contact in love just a method to permanently end a relationship?
In this article I will try to resolve some doubts by telling you about them the whole truth about no contact. Before starting, however, I want to invite you to take a quick test to find out if you have any real chances of regaining.
It only takes 2 minutes to complete - you will have to answer 15 simple questions on your situation with your ex, and instantly get a percentage representing your chances of winning back. Test here.
Take the free test and find out your real chances of winning back thanks to our advanced algorithm.
No contact psychology
First of all, let's start from the basics: no contact means exactly what it indicates, that is, having no contact with the ex for the period immediately following the breakup. Therefore:
- no phone calls
- no message
- no live match
- no interaction on social networks
Instead, priority must be given to regaining at least part of one's lost balance, healing the wounds caused by the breakup and overcoming the most intense phase of pain and irrationality. All this is possible thanks to the no contact rule.
By temporarily distancing oneself from the partner, it is therefore possible to focus on oneself and on oneself a healthy path to healing, but this is not the only advantage of no contact. In fact, due to a strange mechanism of functioning of the human mind, if for a certain period of time you give the impression to the ex that your life is restarting without him, and you will not feel for any reason, nostalgia for the good times lived together he will take possession of his heart, and he will inevitably begin to miss you and to doubt the decision to have left you.
Here is a summary image containing all the psychological benefits of no contact:
Will the ex forget about me during no contact?
Francesca writes to me: “My ex left me telling me that he doesn't love me anymore and that our relationship has no future. He wants me to forget this and move on with my life. If I apply no contact, isn't it as if I am resigning myself and even agreeing with him? "
To answer Francesca, and also to you if you are asking yourself the same questions, I want to say something very important: the chances that the ex will forget about you during no contact are practically inexistent.
Not feeling like you for a while, he will surely have the opportunity to have new experiences, live his freedom to the full and compare the single life to that of a busy one. This does not mean, however, that he is forgetting you ... in fact it is very likely that, now that you do not put pressure on him, he will start thinking about you in a way more frequent and intense.
No contact how long should it last?
No contact should last for an inclusive period between 21 days and 2 months, depending on the severity of the breakup and the importance this relationship held in your lives.
The truth is that in any case during the period of no contact you should return to feel better with yourself or with yourself, and if this condition does not occur you must absolutely prolong the no contact, regardless of how the situation has evolved in the meantime.
